


The Darkest Evening

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 01:59:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16108433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Blair suffers from amnesia after an accident. He is found by a woman who decides to keep him. Jim's senses tells him something has gone wrong so he sets off to search for his partner.





	The Darkest Evening

"Oh, man, now you've done it. Where the heck are you?" Detective Blair Sandburg said to himself as he navigated the dark, lonely roadway. He glanced around nervously, realizing that he had taken a wrong turn back at the last intersection. The absence of life signs in the form of civilization made him apprehensive. Blair sighed and dropped his cell phone back into his backpack. The 'no signal' message didn't set well with him and for a brief moment he wondered why he always seemed to have such bad luck. 

Peering first to the left, then to the right, he settled on a course of action, tturning around and backtracking to the last signs of life he had seen, about ten miles back. In the dark he couldn't hope to figure out where he was, and he was getting too tired to keep driving around aimlessly. The clock on the rental car's dash glowed alien-green: 12:05 am. Since he didn't want to get any more lost than he already was, he started to look for a decent place to turn around on the narrow road. 

Blair had been excited when he left Albuquerque about fourteen hours before, intent on doing a little sightseeing. The gods of small favors bestowed on him the unexpected gift of forty-eight hours of free time until his flight left for Cascade on Saturday morning. He was pleased that the court case in which he was to testify had been canceled after the defendant decided his best course of action was to confess to his crimes and throw himself on the mercy of the court. Now, instead of sitting in a stuffy courtroom for the three days that had been scheduled for the case, he had been set free after just one day. Rather than change his plane ticket, his partner, Jim Ellison, had convinced him to stay in New Mexico and do something he had been wanting to do for several years: visit a couple of the local pueblos and buy some Native American crafts. 

The anthropologist in Blair Sandburg remained alive and well even after his graduation from the Cascade Police Academy the year before and Jim was aware of this fact. It didn't take much encouragement for Blair to agree and he happily told his partner he'd love to take the opportunity. After Blair passed on the good news about the New Mexican defendant, and after Jim relayed his equally good news of a conviction in the Morrison murder trial (the reason Jim had stayed behind in Cascade), Blair bid his partner a good afternoon and planned his two days of adventure. 

Blair set out early with what he thought was a reasonably good map and some hints from the motel concierge about several off-the-beaten-path sights to see. He had easily found the two pueblos he had wanted to visit and he also made some good purchases of pottery he had admired from a roadside stand, but he had planned on being back in his motel room hours before. He berated himself for his failure to keep track of the time, and it was dark before he realized how late it really was. 

With the decision made to turn around, Blair barely had time to start to slow down when a small herd of antelope, chased by couple of scrawny coyotes, ran out into the road directly in front of his vehicle. Startled, he tried to avoid the animals, turning the wheel too sharply to the right. The right wheels went off the side of the pavement into a rut washed out by the last few sudden rainstorms, and he lost control of the vehicle. It lumbered along the shoulder for a few yards before it careened down a steep, gravel-covered ravine, rolling once, then it landed on its wheels with a groan of metal and plastic. Blair had the good sense to be wearing his seatbelt and the vehicle, being a new model, was equipped with airbags. Unfortunately, his roadside purchases included several large pieces of pottery, one of which turned into a dangerous projectile. While the vehicle rolled, the pot struck him hard on the side of the head. He was unconscious before the car came to its sudden stop at the bottom of the hill. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Jim Ellison started, coming awake quickly at a small sound. Thinking he had heard Blair come into the loft, he adjusted his eyesight to the darkness and looked around. He took several moments to scan his surroundings before remembering that Blair was out of town and wouldn't be home for two more days. He had fallen asleep while watching television and must have been dreaming, he figured. Stretching on the too-small sofa, Jim decided he might as well be comfortable, so he turned off the television and climbed the stairs to his room. He crawled into bed and lay still for a few minutes, thoughts concentrated on Blair. A wave of apprehension hit him hard and he immediately knew that something was wrong. Jim cleared his mind completely and centered himself mentally. He searched for the connection with his Guide. After several long, futile minutes, he sat up and ran a hand down his face. Worry etched itself in the lines around his pursed lips. 

Throwing off the blankets, Jim sat on the side of the bed. He thought about the new connection that the Sentinel and Guide had begun to share recently. Barely eight weeks before, Blair discovered he had the ability to connect their spirit guides together while in deep meditation, a skill he learned from another Guide they had met right there in Cascade. Surprisingly, Blair learned that he could guide Jim on a spiritual journey much like when Jim had used his animal spirit under Incacha's guidance when Blair had been declared dead beside the fountain at Rainier University. Further investigation revealed another interesting bit of information when they realized that they both had another sensory awareness as a result of the visions they had shared. Almost immediately after a spiritual journey they had made together, Jim noticed a strange sensation in the back of his mind. He hadn't said anything to his partner about it, figuring Blair would drive him crazy with questions. 

A couple of days after the shared visions, he and Blair were at the loft spending a few quiet days on R&R, doing nothing in particular and enjoying each other's company. While Jim was in the kitchen making coffee, he noticed Blair was watching him out of the corner of his eye from his position on the sofa. The book he had been pretending to read was propped up on his knees, upside-down, Jim noticed. Jim ignored Blair's poor attempts at subterfuge until he had finally had enough and was annoyed. He remembered the conversation with a small smile. 

_"Sandburg, what is it? You're really starting to bug me tonight. Quit looking at me as if I were under a microscope."_

_"Admit it, Jim, you can feel it too," Blair had said, turning to give Jim his full attention._

_"I don't know what you're talking about and if you keep staring at me, you are going to feel something and you probably won't like it much," he had growled in response._

_"You are such a bad liar. Talk to me. How long have you had it?"_

_Jim had sighed, knowing that once Blair was in interrogation mode that he was trapped like the proverbial rat. He sighed again, knowing that unless he knocked Blair unconscious he didn't have much of a choice but to cooperate. In an exasperated voice, Jim had muttered, "All right, already. About three days, since we met the other Guide and you got me out of that zone with the vision."_

_"Why didn't you tell me? You know this is important. I don't know when you're going to figure out you need to tell me this stuff. And now, man, you're irritating me, so we're even." Blair had launched himself from the sofa and stalked over to stand directly in front of his partner with a none-to-happy look on his face._

_"If I tell you, promise me you won't feel the need to experiment on me! I'm not in the mood, that's for sure." Jim had given Blair his best leave-me-alone look in return._

_Blair rolled his eyes. "Just tell me and quit whining, okay?"_

_"I do not whine." Jim crossed his arms and tried to look stern before he threw up his hands in defeat. "Okay, you win," he muttered, before clearing his throat and shifting uncomfortably. "For the past three days, I know you're 'here'." Jim pointed to his head. "It's just a vague kind of feeling. If I clear my mind, I can feel you're… I don't know, it's hard to explain."_

_Blair watched him so intently that Jim shifted again and checked his fly, thinking he was unzipped. When Blair's hand reached out and grabbed Jim's arm, he actually jumped. "I knew it!" Blair said excitedly. "I knew something was up. I can feel the same thing. It's kind of like a little 'tickle' at the back of my mind. Man, we have to figure out what else we can do with 'it'. This is so cool."_

_"Hold it right there, Chief. No experiments." Jim held up both hands._

_"Yeah, right. No experiments."_

_Jim nodded in agreement, already knowing that the far-off look in Blair's eyes meant that he was in for at least a week of hell, maybe more. Blair's ability to conjure up the most bizarre experiments often had Jim either laughing or groaning, depending on the exercise. He knew that his partner was already thinking about how to explore this new sensory awareness._

_Consequently, Blair had dragged Jim all over Cascade for two weeks trying to figure out what that 'feeling' might mean or what, if anything, it was capable of doing. They tried everything Blair could think of, much to Jim's consternation. They tried sending each other mental messages to come or go at certain times, to bring something to each other, to meet at a specific time and/or place. Much to Blair's disappointment, even he finally had to admit that it wasn't anything more than random chance the couple of times they actually had managed to be in the same place at the same time. They couldn't see or hear each other, or tell where the other person was, or what the other person was thinking, but the 'tickle' was definitely there. Each man could concentrate on the other and 'know' the other was 'there'._

_"We're connected by an intangible telephone line," Blair had quipped, causing Jim to groan and shudder at the very thought, while Blair had laughed._

_The conversation that they had a few days after the failed experiments made Jim smile once again as he thought of Blair's delight in their connection._

_They had been putting away groceries when Jim had said, "Sandburg, at this rate, I will never get rid of you. Now you're in my mind. Great, that's just great."_

_Blair grinned. "I know how you can get rid of me. Remember that movie we saw the other night on cable? Fight Club? You remember how Edward Norton got Brad Pitt out of his head?"_

_Jim looked at Blair and laughed. "Yeah, I remember. He put a gun under his chin and put a bullet in his head. Instead of shooting myself, why don't I just shoot you instead? Jim moved around the counter and pretended to hold his finger under Blair's chin like a gun_

_Blair giggled, batting away Jim's hand. "Geez, Jim, you keep talking to me like that and I might get the idea that you don't love me any more."_

_Jim rolled his eyes and ruffled Blair's hair. "I wouldn't want you to get that idea now, would I?"_

Jim remembered how they had laughed together after the exchange, and how they had spent the rest of the evening: watching old Thin Man movies, drinking beer, and eating Blair's special salsa with two bags of tortilla chips. Jim sighed, dragging his thoughts back to the present. After three months of knowing Blair was 'there', in his mind, and when he was finally getting comfortable with the very thought, Just like that, Blair was gone. It made Jim edgy and uneasy, and since he couldn't sleep, he decided to call his partner. He would feel better after hearing Blair's voice, he decided. Calculating the time difference, he realized that it would be the wee morning hours in New Mexico and chances were that Blair would be asleep. Jim decided he would rather listen to him bitch about waking him up than not hear him at all. 

He got out of bed and went downstairs, locating the number on the copy of Blair's itinerary that he had left on the kitchen counter. Jim dialed and when the automatic recording device asked him for the room number, he punched it in. The phone rang but no one answered. After ten rings, the recording returned, asking him if he wanted to leave a message. He left a quick message, telling Blair he was fine but that he had a few questions on a case they were working on, and to call ASAP. Hanging up, Jim glanced at the clock. It was past 2:00 am. and he knew there probably wouldn't be a desk clerk in until regular business hours. The last thing he tried was Blair's cell phone, but all he heard was the recording stating that the party was out of the calling area or unavailable. He left another voice mail message when prompted and disconnected, feeling unhappy and out of sorts.

Because there wasn't much more he could do at the time, and since pacing back and forth hadn't accomplished much in the thirty minutes after the failed phone calls, Jim made a pot of coffee. After the coffee was done brewing, he took a hot, steaming mug out onto the balcony. It was a cool morning with a hint of rain in the air. Sitting in a deck chair, he wrapped his hands around the warm porcelain and wondered exactly what he was feeling. When he concentrated on Blair, he was definitely 'gone'. Jim kept going over it in his mind. He would know if Blair were dead; that was not it. Jim gave his head a small shake as if that would help clear his thoughts. Rubbing his eyes, he sighed, knowing that he would pay for the lack of sleep at work that day. Without his Guide, he might have some trouble concentrating as he sometimes did when he was overly tired. Jim went back into the kitchen to pour another cup of coffee and returned to the chair to wait for daylight. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Dani García rounded the corner of the dusty, one-lane road and stepped on the brakes, sliding her old red truck to a stop on the loose gravel. Her hazel eyes clouded over as she stared at the scene before her. 

Dani saw the tan Ford Taurus sitting partially concealed by a stand of small cottonwoods and underbrush. She jumped out of the truck and cautiously headed toward the car. The dirt track that she had taken about a half-mile back lead to an obscure archaeological site that was rarely used, except by her or poachers. She had been on this part of the road the previous afternoon, so the accident would have had to happen sometime since then, she mused. 

Walking toward the car, Dani was apprehensive. She wiped her sweating hands on her jeans, unsure how she would react to a dead body if there were one in the Ford, but knowing that she didn't have much choice, she had to look. The front of the vehicle was partially exposed, so she placed her hand on the hood, noting that the metal was cool under her fingers. The smell of gasoline was strong and the fear of fire quickly spurred her on. She made her way to the driver's side, pulling the tangle of brush and branches out of her way. Peering into the dark interior, she was dismayed to see that there was, indeed, a body in the front seat. Tugging away the last few branches, Dani took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and pulled the driver's door open. 

The man occupying the driver's seat looked dead to her. Dani's hand shook as she picked up a cold hand and searched for a pulse. Trembling, she dropped the hand when she failed to locate it and sighing, she pressed shaky fingers on the side of his neck. After a few moments, a sluggish pulse was her reward. Muttering out loud, Danny considered what to do. 

"For God's sake, buddy, what the hell did you do?" She peered up the hill that led to the main highway, noting the path of the vehicle. "You're lucky you aren't dead, yet," she mumbled. Other than cursory first aid, Dani was at a loss. She scanned the man closely, mulling over her options. His long, curly hair was pulled back into an elastic band at the back of his neck and the skin was not cut or bleeding that she could see. She didn't see blood on his light green shirt, or on his tan slacks. He was buckled into his seatbelt and there were broken pieces of pottery strewn over the interior of the car. She noticed that the airbags had deployed, spreading a fine coating of white powder over the interior and its occupant. 

"Dani, you had better do something," she muttered to herself. "The clinic in town is open two days a week, and this isn't one of them." She sighed. This far out it would take hours to find medical assistance. Dani scanned the horizon. The tail tale signs of a thunderstorm brewing out over the desert and the wind kicking up a dust storm in front of it, along with the smell of gasoline, forced her decision. With no telephone at her disposal, and with a storm inevitable, a run for her cabin seemed like the best possibility. 

"Well, get him out of there. Then if he dies, you can take the body to the sheriff's office and tell them what happened." Figuring her help was better than none, she planned on how to get the man out of the car and onto the bed of her truck. 

Running to her truck, Dani started the engine and backed it up as close to the driver's door as possible. She dropped the tailgate and jumped into the bed, spreading out an open sleeping bag. Climbing down, she unbuckled the seatbelt and after moving the man gently into position, she wound her arms under his armpits and locked her hands together. Pulling him carefully, she maneuvered the upper part of his body onto the tailgate. With a hand under his head, she laid him back. Once again climbing into the bed, she tugged the entire sleeping bag, dragging it and the man to the center of the bed where she knelt beside him. 

With tender fingers, she felt his forehead and cheek. His skin was cold and sweaty. Shaking out one of the light blankets she had in her emergency kit, she covered him before opening a water bottle. Soaking a piece of cloth in the water, she dabbed it onto his lips and gently wiped his face. Knowing that dehydration was a dangerous thing, she slipped a finger between his lips and carefully dribbled a few drops of water into his mouth. She sighed gratefully when she saw his throat automatically swallow. Patiently, she dripped a few more sips into the man and dabbed a bit more onto his dry lips before she capped the bottle. After another quick wipe on his face, she noticed a large bump on his right temple and a bruise on his right cheek. The area around his right eye was swollen and bruised as well. 

The crack of thunder in the distance brought Dani's head up. She looked around, holding her hand over her eyes at the glare. With a last glance at her patient, she slid from the truck bed, closed the tailgate, and climbed into the cab. Starting the vehicle, she turned to head back to her place. When she drove past the wrecked car, the driver's door hung open and something caught her attention. Stopping, she hopped out and grabbed the brown lump lying on the floorboard. It was a well-worn leather backpack. She tossed the pack onto the seat next to her and climbed in. 

The first droplets of rain hit the windshield when Dani drove the truck into the front yard of her cabin. She backed the truck up to the porch carefully before turning off the engine. Thankfully the height of the tailgate and the porch were almost level. Dropping the tailgate, Dani dragged her patient, sleeping bag and all, onto the porch, through the front door and over to the bed. Again, being as careful as possible, she wrapped her arms around the man's upper body and maneuvered him onto the bed. Mission accomplished, she huffed out a breath while wiping the hem of her t-shirt across her sweating forehead. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she went to a small bookcase and located what she needed in a few moments. Quickly she scanned the medical guide, looking for the symptoms and treatment of a concussion. 

A large crack of thunder boomed directly overhead. When Dani glanced out the window, rain started pelting against the glass and lightning flickered wildly across the desert sky. Her trip into town to inform the sheriff about her find would have to wait until the storm abated. In the meantime, she would do what she could for the man. With her limited knowledge, she surmised that the force of the blow that caused the bruising had more than likely given the man a concussion. She read down the list of symptoms, among them loss of consciousness, vomiting, amnesia, disorientation, bleeding around the brain, and/or convulsions. Treatments included immediate medical care at a hospital. She read on, noting that the patient should be kept still, given aspirin-free pain relievers, and to apply cold compresses to the injured area. The instructions also advised checking the patient for difficulty breathing. Dani placed a hand on the man's chest and listened carefully. His slow breathing seemed steady, making her breathe a sigh of relief. 

Other than those cursory instructions, the book was not very helpful. Since she had no other choice in the matter at the moment, she decided to make the man more comfortable. Dani removed his shirt, shoes, socks and pants, figuring he would like his t-shirt and boxers left on. She laughed to herself that if he died, he probably wouldn't mind much. Snorting at her insensitivity, Dani decided that she was getting really tired if she was thinking along those lines. She stopped her fussing over the unconscious man to have a cool drink. Luckily she had a portable generator and a small refrigerator. After her refreshment, she made an icepack with a clean towel, poured a pan of tepid water, and grabbed another small towel. Sitting on the side of the bed, she took the cloth and wiped the man's face, then gently rested the cold compress on his temple and forehead. Rubbing his arms with the wet cloth, she futilely tried to get some response. Running a hand over his cheek, Dani wondered how long he had been in the ravine before she had found him. 

With a sympathetic glance at her foundling, Dani rose and ran out the front door into the rain. She pulled open the truck's door and grabbed the backpack before racing back inside. Shaking the raindrops from her hair, she dropped to the floor next to the bed and unzipped the pack. Reaching a hand out, she touched the man's forehead. Earlier he had been cold and clammy. Now his skin felt more normal under her fingers. She smiled before turning her attentions to the pack. Turning the backpack over, she dumped the contents out. 

Holding her breath, she reached out tentatively. The .38 Smith and Wesson dominated the small pile. She gingerly pulled the weapon from the pile by its grip and held it up, turning it in her fingers. 

"Who the hell are you?" Dani asked the non-responsive man. 

Checking carefully, she could see that the pistol was loaded and the safety was on. Setting aside the gun, she studied the other items. A Swiss army knife. Five small notebooks. Four pens, three black and one red. A cell phone. She opened the flip-top but a quick press of the 'on' button revealed dead batteries. A small wad of bills: two tens, three twenties, a five and six ones. A black leather bi-fold wallet. 

Dani opened the folded wallet and held her breath. The gold detective's shield glimmered dully in the under-lit cabin. Surprised, Dani rose and turned on one of her electric camp lights. She carefully studied the badge and identification tucked under the clear plastic cover. 

"Blair Sandburg," Dani read aloud. Peering behind the ID showing through the small plastic window, she pulled out a Bank of Cascade credit card and a State of Washington driver's license. "Blair, you live at 852 Prospect Avenue, Cascade, Washington. Oh, you just had a birthday! May 23, 1969." She smiled. "We're almost the same age." Dani tucked the personal items back into the wallet. "Blair Sandburg," she repeated. "I like it. But Blair? You must be undercover with all that hair. You don't look like any of the sheriff's deputies around here." 

Dani returned the items to the backpack and rose. She was setting the pack on the Formica-topped table when she heard a soft moan. Dani spun quickly and crossed to the side of the bed. Sitting carefully, she wrung the washcloth in the pan of water and patted Blair's face

\-------------------------------------------------

He felt the stabbing pain run across the front of his head, making tears run from the corners of his eyes. He groaned and unsuccessfully tried to open his eyes. Moving his head to the side caused another stab of blinding pain to tear across his forehead. He sucked in his breath and held it, trying to lessen the pain. Panicking when his lungs burned for air, he struggled awake. His body felt heavy and his head screamed. Huffing out his breath, he moaned deeply. Slowly he became aware of something wet pressing against his forehead. It was cool and felt wonderful to his burning skin. He tried to concentrate and open his eyes. Forcing his brain to function, he heard someone speaking, but the sounds were muffled. 

"Shh. Lie still. Try to relax. Come on. You can do it." 

Something rubbed his hands and arms. Finally, he could tell that someone was touching him, but he felt so terrible that all he wanted was to retreat back into the blackness from which he had just risen. His head buzzed horribly and there was a loud, irritating sound in his ears, like water rushing by, and he couldn't hear very well above the noise. 

When his ears started to quiet down, he could hear the voice talking to him gently but firmly. "Relax. Try to take even breaths. Please try to relax. That's it, lie still. Come on, Blair, you can do it." The words were repeated over and over and finally they started to make sense. He felt someone holding his hands and he forced his eyes open. His whole world swirled and the room spun crazily. Spots danced by and his stomach rebelled. He was instantly nauseated. He threw up before he could even moan out a warning. Once his stomach emptied its meager contents, he felt even worse and briefly wondered how that was possible. 

Dani cleaned Blair as gently as possible. She shook her head while she wiped his face and neck. She could see him clenching his teeth against the pain while tears ran from the corners of his eyes. Worried about moving him to remove the dirty t-shirt, she found a pair of scissors and cut it off. With light strokes, she wiped his face, arms and chest with more of the cool water. 

He lay very still. He couldn't imagine that he could ever feel this terrible. He tried to concentrate, tried to understand what was happening, but the pain was too severe and his mind refused to cooperate. Finally, weary beyond belief, he gave up and tried to block out everything he could hear or feel. 

Dani covered Blair lightly with a clean blanket and laid the wet washcloth on his forehead. "Just rest," she said quietly. "I'll be right back." Dani went over to the kitchen area and fixed a cup of peppermint tea. She dissolved four of the pain capsules into the cup and sweetened it with honey to kill the medicine taste. Knowing that peppermint was a good stomach soother, she was determined to get some of the tea into her patient. Hopefully, the pain medication would help, now if she could just get it down his throat. 

"Can you hear me?" Dani touched Blair's arm lightly. She was rewarded with a small moan that she took as a 'yes'. "I've made you some tea with a painkiller in it. The tea will help settle your stomach, but I need you to help me get this into you. I put some honey in it so it should taste okay." Kneeling beside the bed, Dani lightly rubbed Blair's bare arm. "You need to drink this. Can you do that? Can you hear me? You've got to get some liquid in you because you're dehydrated." 

Unable to force his thick tongue to cooperate, he managed to raise his hand a couple of inches to acknowledge that he had heard. Dani slid a hand under his head and carefully raised it a few inches, putting the cup to his lips. With her coaxing and keeping his eyes closed to avoid the motion sickness, he was able to drink most of the tea. When she laid his head back on the pillow, he whimpered softly once before he lost consciousness. 

Dani sat on the edge of the bed for a long while with a hand on Blair's chest to reassure herself that he was still breathing. She finally glanced out the nearest window and was surprised to see that night had fallen. The rain had turned to a gentle drizzle and only occasional flashes of lightning flicked in the distance. The thunder that followed was far away. 

Rising from the bed, Dani dug a clean sheet from a laundry basket and carefully replaced it with the soiled one on which Blair lay. She then covered her sleeping patient and checked his color and breathing once again to reassure herself that he was still alive. Tired and grimy from the long day, Dani stripped off her clothes and ran a small bath, grateful that the cabin had indoor plumbing because of the last occupant's aversion to outhouses. The cistern on the roof would be nice and full after the day's rainstorm. Bathed and dressed in clean blue sweatpants and a blue and white plaid cotton shirt, she felt much better. 

Dani made another quick check on her patient. His face seemed to have some color and his breathing was regular. A touch on his forehead and cheek made her smile with relief. Blair felt almost normal to her inexperienced hands. She sighed gratefully and went into the kitchen to fix a quick meal. Food eaten and tea drank, she felt much better. Since Blair was occupying the only bed in the small cabin, she grabbed a sheet and an extra blanket, and curled up on the sofa placed against one wall of the cabin. She was so tired that she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Arriving at his desk in the bullpen by 6:30 am., Jim started his phone calls, but for the moment, he was having absolutely no luck tracking down his partner. A call to the motel revealed that clerk currently on duty was a fill-in and hadn't spoken to Blair. He informed Jim that the man who would be on duty at noon had most likely checked Blair in and might have some information that could be of assistance to him. While Jim knew that Blair was quite capable of taking care of himself, he also knew that if he went with his instincts, he was usually right. And right now his instincts were screaming at him that something was wrong. Where was Sandburg anyway? Another hour of useless phone calls to almost every hospital, morgue, sheriff's department and police station in the state of New Mexico had yielded nothing. There were no John Doe's, no vehicle accidents with unaccounted victims, nothing. Ellison decided to risk his captain's wrath by asking him for a favor. 

Jim knocked on Captain Banks' door. 

"Come."

Jim plunged right in without any pleasantries. "Captain, I know this is going to sound strange, but would you consider putting a call in to the New Mexico State Highway Patrol and the County Sheriff's Office, and put out an APB on Sandburg?"

Captain Banks clamped down on his cigar and looked at Jim with wide eyes. "Jim, are you nuts? Why would I do that?"

"I can't explain it, Simon, but something isn't right. I can feel it."

Simon leaned back and removed the cigar. After a moment of silence, he said, "I have no intention of putting out an APB on Sandburg. He isn't due back until Saturday, and he's quite capable of being out of town for a few days without you watching over him. Unless you have a damned good reason for an APB, I suggest you go and find some police work to keep you busy." Simon sat up and his voice softened a bit. "Sandburg will be okay, Jim."

Jim nodded, silently turned and walked out the door of Simon's office, closing it carefully behind him. He leaned against it for a few seconds; then he walked to his desk, turned off his computer, grabbed his coat and left the building.

When he arrived at the loft a short time later, he went into Blair's room where he found what he was looking for. He carried six candles to the coffee table in the living room. Jim put Blair's incense burner in the middle of the semi-circle he made with the candles and eyed the arrangement carefully. He had seen his partner do this enough times so he moved automatically, preparing. Jim drew the blinds and lit the candles, suddenly feeling pretty stupid, but he didn't know what else to do. He was constantly teasing Blair about his cosmic stuff, now here he was, using it. With a sigh, Jim sat on the floor, crossed his legs and closed his eyes. 

Jim's eyes flew open when he remembered what else he needed. Back in Blair's room he spied a pile of clothes on the floor beside the chair and he grabbed the Hawaiian shirt that he had seen his partner wearing a few days before. Taking the shirt back into the living room, he sat back down, made sure each candle had a glass plate under it in case he zoned out and they burned down to the ends. Jim snorted softly. He figured he shouldn't burn himself and the whole building down. The captain wouldn't like explaining that to the police commissioner and the press, Jim knew. With another deep sigh, Jim wrapped his hands around Blair's shirt and closed his eyes. He turned off all his senses as much as possible until he could barely feel the fabric under his fingers. He regulated his breathing as Blair had taught him, and he concentrated fully. As hard as Jim tried to call up a vision, nothing happened. After forty-five frustrating minutes, he finally gave up. Telling himself that he knew it was a dumb idea from the start, he also knew that he had to try. 

A glance at his watch revealed that it was early afternoon. Since he couldn't think of anything else to do about Blair at the moment, he headed back to the station, driving cautiously in a steady drizzle. It always seemed to be raining in Cascade, Jim observed. Stopping at a traffic light at 13th and Morgan, he idly glanced out the window and there, on the hood of a tan Ford Taurus, sat a black jaguar. Jim blinked and looked again, but the jaguar was gone. He hadn't slept much the night before and now he was beginning to get a headache. Jim rubbed his hand across his forehead and looked back at the Ford. A horn sounded behind him; he jumped, realized the light had turned green, and stepped on the accelerator.

When he arrived back at his desk, Jim started calling the rental car agencies at the Albuquerque airport. The fourth agency he contacted verified that Sandburg had rented a 2003 tan Ford Taurus on Thursday morning about 9 am. Since automobiles were rented in twenty-four-hour increments, and since he had rented for forty-eight hours, it wasn't due back until Saturday. He then put in a call to the hotel desk clerk who had been off duty that morning. The man was at his post and remembered Sandburg asking about one or two of the Indian pueblos in a remote area. He also mentioned that he hadn’t noticed if Blair came back from his trip the day before. The clerk said that Blair's rental car was not currently in the parking lot, and that he couldn't recall when it was last parked in front of Blair's room on the first floor. He explained that Blair had paid for three nights and hadn't checked out yet. Jim thanked him and hung up, not at all happy with the outcome of the phone call. 

After filling the remainder of the day with the endless paperwork required in police work, Jim Ellison headed home. He let himself into his apartment and without turning on a light or bothering to eat, he went up to his room and flopped on the bed, fully clothed. He had planned on taking a quick shower, but he was soon asleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------

The blackness finally abated and he woke up slowly. Cautiously, he opened his eyes. He turned his head slightly to avoid making the pain in his head any worse than it already was, and looked around. It was almost a full moon so he could see well enough to realize that he had no idea where he was. He decided to see if his voice was still working, so after clearing his throat, he called softly, "Hello. Anyone here?" 

Dani heard him and was awake instantly. She called over, "Oh, hey there! Finally awake?" She crossed to the side of the bed. "How are you feeling?" 

"My head hurts like hell, but I'm not sick to my stomach anymore, which is a good thing. I think throwing up would make me pass out right now," he said softly. 

Turning, Dani lit a small lamp and after setting it on a nearby stand, she carefully sat on the edge of the bed. 

"I'm going to see if you have a fever," she said, placing the backs of her fingers against his forehead and cheek. Smiling down at Blair, she could see the wary look in his eyes. "I'm really glad you are awake," she said reassuringly. "I thought you were going to die on me."

His throat felt dry and raw. "Do you think I could have a drink of water?" 

"Of course." Dani filled a glass with cool water and once again, she put a hand under his head to help him drink. 

After greedily draining the glass, he said, "Thanks. I feel better now." He gave a tentative smile. "Ah, do you mind if I ask who you are?" 

Dani laughed quietly, forgetting that they had never met. "I'm Dani García." 

"I'm…" he started, then stopped. His head was pounding and he was starting to feel scared. He looked at her with panic in his eyes. "I can't remember. My head hurts too much, I can't think." He reached out and grabbed her arm, unconsciously digging his fingers into her skin. 

Dani pried his fingers away and held his hand between hers. The fact that he might not remember who he was had not crossed her mind earlier when she read the medical guide. Dani spoke quietly, trying to comfort her upset patient. "Calm down. You'll be okay. Take it easy or you'll make your head hurt worse than it already does." 

"I'm so tired," he whispered, so softly that Dani could barely hear him. He closed his eyes and turned his face away. 

Dani held Blair's hand until he drifted off to sleep. She rose and retrieved the medical book she had checked earlier regarding concussions. Flipping quickly to the page, she reread the list of symptoms again. Double-checking, she read that a concussion could cause memory loss and disorientation. Now that he was awake, she realized that Blair must have been knocked on the head hard enough to cause amnesia and that he did seem disoriented. She closed the book and wandered back over to the sofa. Glancing at her charge, she wondered if he would be thinking more clearly in the morning. She also wondered just how long it was possible for him not to remember who he was or where he came from. She carefully examined this new information. 

If Blair didn't remember who he was, well, that made things look a lot different. She had been alone for a long while now, and she had not taken the opportunity to grieve and move on from the accidental death of her lover six months before. It made perfect sense to her that this man had been sent to her by divine providence to replace her lost love. Her mental stability was shaky, and although she was not an inherently evil person, she crossed the line that night. In the blink of an eye, she transferred the love and affection for her dead lover onto Blair. Smiling, she rose from her bed and retrieved Blair's backpack from the kitchen table. She pushed the pack into an empty dresser drawer and lay back down. She lay awake for a long while making contingency plans for the next day before finally falling asleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------

The jaguar was running full speed across the dark desert landscape. The moon was three-quarters full and cast a long shadow of the cat. He kept his eyes ahead while he searched. His keen eyes found his quarry, but it was always at the edge of his vision, tantalizingly out of reach by the smallest fraction. The cat felt that if he looked hard enough he would be able to see the fleeing figure. The harder he ran, the further away his quarry seemed to be. Finally, after he could run no farther, the cat skidded to a halt. He paced back and forth several times, growling low in his throat, before lying down to rest. 

All at once, Jim was fully awake. He threw a couple of changes of clothes into a green canvas duffel bag, grabbed his sleeping bag, locked the front door, and headed to his truck. He threw the stuff in the bed and after starting the engine, rummaged around in the glove compartment for a map of the Western United States. He was heading to New Mexico to find Blair and no one was going to stop him. 

Jim figured he had a twenty-hour drive just to get to his starting point and he was wasting no time in getting there. He drove through an all-night food stand and bought half a dozen tacos and two large Cokes. He needed to fuel up to stay awake for the long drive and the caffeine would wire him enough so he wouldn't be sleepy. Blair would love his choice of late-night food, Jim knew. 

When Jim crossed the state line, he placed a phone call to Simon Banks. 

"Banks." 

"I'm going to find Sandburg," Jim stated. 

"Now just a second, Jim."

"I'll call you in a day or two." 

"Ellison!" 

"You can't talk me out of it. Something's wrong."

"It's those damned senses, isn't it? Be careful! If you run into trouble, contact local law enforcement."

"I'll be in touch." Jim disconnected and concentrated on his driving. 

\------------------------------------------------

He lay very still, trying to decide how he felt. Deciding that he was feeling better, he slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was not sure what had happened or where he was, nor could he remember how he had gotten there. While his head still hurt, his overall condition had improved a good deal. Thinking back, he vaguely remembered being sick and that someone had helped him. 'Here' was in a small house with wood walls and one large room that served as living area and bedroom. There was a small kitchen space, and two doors along the back wall were closed. Blair noticed the woman sitting at the table in the center of the room. Struggling to concentrate, he also vaguely remembered her, but he didn't remember her name or even if she had told him. 

Dani was sitting at the table examining several large pieces of pottery and making notes in the tablet beside her. She had on a set of headphones whose wires led to a portable CD player resting beside her elbow, and she was humming to the music while she worked. She kept glancing over at Blair, worried that he had been asleep so long, and wondering when he would wake. After making a few more notes, she looked up to see Blair's solemn blue eyes watching her. She smiled, pleased to see that he was finally awake. Putting down her pen and pulling off the earphones, Dani went over to the bed and sat down. 

"How are you feeling? I bet your head hurts a lot." 

"Yeah, it does. I'm feeling... I don't know. I can't seem to think straight. I don't remember what happened." He fidgeted nervously with the blankets and looked at her anxiously. 

Dani put her hand on his arm. "You'll be all right. Just rest and try to relax. Are you hungry?"

"No, the thought of food sounds really awful, but I'm really thirsty," he said wistfully. 

"I'm sure you are pretty dehydrated by now, so let me get you some juice. It will make you feel better. Also, I've got something for your headache." Dani went over to the kitchen area and returned quickly with a glass. "If this is okay on your stomach, I think you should try and eat something in a little while. Do you want to try and sit up? It might make you dizzy, but it would be easier to drink this." 

He nodded gingerly. "I might as well give it a try, if you'll help me." He held up his arm. 

Dani set the glass and capsules on the nightstand before helping Blair to a sitting position. She propped a few pillows behind his back and settled him comfortably. "You're looking a little pale right now, so sit there for a few minutes. Are you feeling dizzy?" 

"Just a bit. I don't think I could walk right this minute." 

Dani handed Blair the pills and a glass of juice. "I hope you like apple juice." She made sure he didn't need her help while he tossed back the pills and drank the juice. Dani refilled the empty glass and encouraged Blair to drink more. 

He gave her a small smile. "Thanks," he said quietly, taking the second glass. 

"You rest and get your bearings," Dani said, "I need to make a few more notes." Walking back over to the table, Dani sat to finish her work. After a few minutes, she asked, "Blair, do you remember what happened, the accident?"

He thought for a moment. "No, I have no idea. What accident? Is that where I hurt my head?"

"Yes, we were out excavating a dig in the desert and there was a rock slide. I managed to hold on, but you fell quite a ways and hit your head. I thought you were dead at first. It took me a couple of hours to get you into the truck and back here to the house."

He looked at her in total confusion. "A dig?" he echoed. "No, I don't remember. In fact, I don't seem to remember anything at all, except for last night and today."

"Yes, a dig. We have a site. You're an archaeologist, like I am. You’ve been working with me on a site for about four months now. You don't remember? You answered my ad in the University newspaper when I was looking for someone to help me excavate."

He thought about that revelation for a long while. For some reason, when she said he was an archaeologist it seemed to make sense to him, but that was about the only thing that seemed to make sense right then. 

Dani started to say something to Blair, but he was staring right past her, his eyes unfocused. She walked over to him and when she put her hand on his shoulder, he jumped. 

"I'm sorry. Did I startle you? I was talking to you, but you seemed far away." When Blair looked up at her, she was drawn to his ocean blue eyes immediately. 

"Sorry. I can't seem to make my mind work right. Everything is kind of jumbled together and I was trying to sort it all out." He shrugged. "All I did was make my head hurt more." He shifted a bit before he said, "Ah, I have to go to the bathroom." Feeling self-conscious because he was wearing only his boxers, he added, "Do you think I can have my clothes, please?"

"Sure. Do you think you can walk?" 

"I guess I don't have much choice, unless I really want to embarrass myself. Will you help me up?"

"Of course." Going over to the dresser, Dani rummaged around, coming up with a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She was pretty sure they would fit him; he was close in size to Robert. Dani was happy that she had never gotten around to clearing out her boyfriend's things. She knew there was some reason why she had never felt comfortable getting rid of Robert's clothes. Now she realized that it was because the fates were sending her someone to replace him. Smiling, Dani brought the clothes over to Blair. 

He watched Dani cross the room toward him. He hadn't had much of a chance to really look at her closely before, but now he noticed that she was very pretty with bright hazel-colored eyes and silky brown hair with little streaks of gold through it, pulled into a pony tail that fell halfway down her back.

Dani helped him to his feet and after making sure he could walk, she led him to one of the doors he had seen earlier on one of the cabin's walls. Suddenly, he felt uncomfortable and he was worried that she might follow him inside but she smiled and released his arm after she had swung the door open, handing him the jeans and shirt. 

"Call me if you feel faint or sick?" 

Taking the clothes, he nodded. "Okay. Thanks." He closed the door behind him, clicking the lock. He sighed and leaned on the sink, looking at himself in the mirror, puzzled and anxious when a stranger looked back at him. He rubbed his temples and splashed cold water on his face. Why couldn't he remember? His stomach was in turmoil and his head pounded relentlessly. When the room started to spin, he sat down on the closed toilet seat. Although it took him a while, he finally was able to use the toilet and get dressed. 

Opening the door, he walked slowly across the small cabin and sat down at the table. "I know this is going to sound really stupid, but I've forgotten your name again. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I can't seem to keep things straight in my head."

"It's okay. I read in my book that a concussion can do that. It kind of rattled your brain around and you need some time to recover, that's all. And my name is Dani. It isn't stupid and you can ask me again if you need to. All right?"

"Okay." He sighed and glanced around the house before turning back to Dani. "You make me feel a lot better," he said quietly. 

Reaching across the table, Dani rested a hand on Blair's lower arm. "I don't want to upset you, but last night you couldn't remember your name when I asked you. Do you remember it now?"

He sat very still for several moments before he shrugged. "I don't remember you asking me, but right now I don't remember much of anything since I woke up this morning. I have occasional flashes in my mind, but I can't quite seem to make sense of them. I don't know if they're real or not. I just feel so out of it and I don't like it much." He stopped and sighed, putting his head in his hands. Knowing that he had to say something, he straightened up. "I can't remember my name," he finally admitted. 

"You'll be okay." Dani rubbed his arm to try and comfort him. "I think it'll all start to come back after you've had a few days rest. Your name is Blair, Blair Sandburg." Dani rose. "Let me get you something to eat." Going to the kitchen cupboard, she opened it and moved around a few cans and boxes. "When I was little, my mother always gave me applesauce when my stomach was upset. Let's try some of that." Setting down a small bowl and a spoon in front of Blair, Dani said, "Here you go. Try and eat a bit." 

Blair was staring again, his eyes unfocused. Her voice interrupted his reverie and he focused, shivering slightly. "I have no idea why I am here," he said. "It's really weird and I don't like not remembering." His voice wavered on the last word. Feeling tired and scared, and with his head aching, Blair put an elbow on the table and put his head in his hand. "I can't eat. It makes my stomach ache just thinking about it. I'm really tired all of a sudden. I think I'd better lay down before I fall over." The little bit of color that he had regained drained from his face. 

"Of course. You can eat later. A nap is just what you need." Taking Blair's arm, Dani helped him over to the bed where he gratefully lay down and closed his eyes. Dani covered him with a light blanket and stood watching over him for a few moments. She was glad that he had not died on her and she decided she had made the right decision. Blair needed her, she knew that now, so she set about putting a plan in motion that she thought would seal his fate. She knew he wasn’t a stray puppy that she had found and could keep, but since the loss of her lover, her mental stability was precarious. In her damaged psyche, as far as Dani was concerned Blair belonged to her and once she made her flawed decision, there was no going back. 

While he was asleep, she put the final part of her plan into action. She drove out to the site of Blair's accident and rummaged through the vehicle. Finding a suitcase, she removed the clothes and toiletries from it, quickly inspecting them to be sure that they wouldn't give away Blair's true identity. She stowed the items in her truck. Next, she hooked the rental car up to the truck with a towrope. She pulled it away from the road to the edge of an arroyo, put the car in neutral, and then used the truck to push it over. It rolled down the side of the small canyon and came to rest at the bottom in a cloud of sand and dust. Dani was pleased at how well the color of the Taurus blended in with the surrounding desert landscape. Clambering down, she tossed brush over and around the car, effectively hiding it. Smiling at her handiwork, she climbed back up to her truck and made her way home. 

When she arrived, she checked to be sure that Blair was still sleeping. After pulling the backpack from the dresser, Dani stuffed the clothes into the drawer and put Blair's toiletries in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. Taking the backpack out to her truck, she shoved it behind the seat, under a pile of gear, and planned on disposing of it at the first opportunity. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Dani was up late doing some sketching of several artifacts that she had dug up recently when she glanced over at the bed and noticed that Blair was sitting up. "I'm sorry, am I disturbing you? I didn't mean to wake you up." 

Blair shook his head. "No, it's okay. I wasn't asleep." He rubbed his hands across his face. "I can't sleep."

"Is your head hurting?" she asked. At Blair's nod, she went to the kitchen cabinet and found several short, fat, white candles. Placing them on a plate, she carried them over to the stand near the bed. "These are supposed to help you relax," Dani said while she lit the candles. "They're aroma-therapy and this is your favorite fragrance." When the candles were burning brightly, Dani went over to the bed. "Why don't we sit and talk for a while? Maybe that will help you feel sleepy. I’m not tired right now anyway.”

"That sounds good. It will help just having you talk to me. I feel kind of lost. I don't know what to do." Blair turned to lean back against the wall and Dani joined him. 

"How are you feeling, Blair?" 

"My head still hurts, but it's a lot better. I'm still having a bit of trouble keeping my concentration. It really sucks." 

Dani watched Blair closely while he spoke. He had put his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. She could see the confusion etched across his forehead, making tiny wrinkles in the skin. She fought the urge to offer to comfort him by taking him in her arms, knowing that it was too soon, but she was determined to eliminate his doubts and misgivings about who he was and what they meant to each other. Reaching over, she lightly patted his arm. "Why don't I tell you what we've been up to? Maybe it will help you remember and make you feel better." 

Blair's blue eyes met her hazel ones and he smiled. "It makes me feel better talking to you." 

She smiled in return. "Good. I'm glad." With a final pat, she pulled her hand back and laced her fingers together on her lap. "Well, I started digging at this site about eight months ago for the University of New Mexico and you came and started helping me about four months ago. There is way too much work for one person; you said you were between assignments and interested in the work. There are some really important burials at this site, along with several household dwellings that should yield some interesting artifacts." Dani shifted forward and crossed her legs. "Unfortunately, there wasn't enough money to launch a full team and since I had the time and resources to dig on my own, I obtained permission from the school to do my own research for 12 months. Also, the fact that it is on private land and not an ancient site doesn't generate a lot of interest. It's only about four to six hundred years old.

"The only problem that we currently have is that on two occasions within the last month, we've discovered that looters have been at the site while we've been away. We figured that they're stealing artifacts to sell on the black market." Dani pulled a loose strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. "You and I had decided that we were going to go and stake it out two nights ago, but because of your accident, we'll have to postpone it until you're feeling better." 

Blair sat quietly, mulling over the information before he asked, "I was wondering where my personal things are, you know, driver's license, stuff like that."

Dani looked at him seriously. "Blair, I hadn't realized until you just mentioned it, but you were wearing your backpack when you were hurt. Your wallet with your driver's license and stuff like that were in it. I bet it got ripped off you when you took your tumble and it's buried under the rocks out there somewhere. Next time we are out that way, we can try and look for it." 

Blair considered this information. Dani seemed genuinely concerned for him so he nodded. "Okay. I guess there isn't much else that can be done right now, but as soon as we can go to the site, I want to look for my stuff."

She yawned and stretched. "I'm getting sleepy, how about you? Do you think you can sleep now?" Dani rose and blew out the candles. 

Blair smiled just a bit. "Yeah, I think so. Dani, thanks. And good night."

"Hey, Blair?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, you know."

Blair suddenly felt uncomfortable, so he didn't answer. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Tossing and turning, Dani tried to get comfortable on the sofa. It was too small for her to stretch out on in spite of the fact that she was not a tall person. 

Blair heard the sofa springs creaking and watched her trying to find a comfortable position. He called over to her, "Dani, you could come and, ah, sleep in the bed. We've been together for all this time…" Blair's words trailed off before he tried again. "Did we… you and I… sleep together?" He stumbled on the words, once again feeling uneasy. 

Dani rose to her elbow and nodded. "Of course we have, Blair, but I just wanted to give you a chance to recover. I think you're feeling a little awkward with me right now, so I didn't want to push you. Whenever you're ready, we can sleep together again."

"Until then, we can share the bed." Blair looked at her hesitantly. "I just need some time to adjust, if that's all right."

Dani crossed the room with her blanket and pillow in her arms. Smiling, she said, "Yes, silly, it's all right. I want you to get better and I want you to know that I love you. I'm quite willing to wait until you're ready." 

Blair nodded. "I want you to share the bed with me. It will make me feel better. That sofa isn't very inviting."

"Okay, if it makes you feel better." 

Blair moved back against the wall, giving Dani as much room as he could. He watched while she wrapped the blanket around her and lay down with her back to him. Relieved that she didn't try to come closer, Blair tried to relax. When she bid him 'good night', Blair said 'good night' in return. For a few brief moments he thought about why he felt so awkward being close to Dani, but exhaustion overtook him and he soon fell asleep. 

Dani lay very still. She could hear Blair's irregular breathing and she patiently waited until he finally settled down. When his breathing pattern indicated sleep, she smiled and closed her eyes. Once Blair had fallen asleep and after she felt that another hurdle had been conquered, she was able to fall asleep also. 

\------------------------------------------------- 

After a long day's travel, Ellison finally pulled the truck over onto a wide level area along the highway. It looked like a spot that tired travelers used. There was trash strewn around, along with a few empty beer bottles. Parking under a large tree, Jim sighed tiredly and climbed up into the truck bed. He spread out the sleeping bag and tried to catch at few Z's. 

Jim's mind wasn't cooperating with his body's need for sleep, and his thoughts kept jumping from one thing to another. He was very worried about Blair. A call to the car rental agency that morning had revealed that the car had not been turned in on time. Another call to the airline further revealed that Blair had not made his flight. Jim bit his lip and closed his eyes. Bright blue eyes and a wide smile danced across his mind. Blair's laughter tickled his ears, and thoughts of his ready wit and sense of humor made Jim grin in spite of the dire circumstances. 

Still smiling, Jim kept his thoughts centered on his partner. He was very thankful that over the past four years Blair had been open and eager to trying anything and everything while they figured out this Sentinel thing. Blair had been determined that Jim would learn to control his gifts. Jim knew that he would have given up long before if it hadn't been for Blair. He still considered a lot of the stuff that had happened to them to be pretty damned strange, but he gave up fighting it a long time ago. Besides, there wasn't anything he could do to change it. He didn't choose to have heightened senses, but he did choose to be a Sentinel and now it was part of him. He accepted his fate in his usual stoic fashion. 

Since that fateful day more than two years before when Blair declared himself a fraud and gave up everything for him, it never again crossed Jim's mind to question the trust, loyalty and affection he and Blair had for each other. He accepted that as readily as he now accepted his fate in life as a Sentinel, and his faith in Blair when Blair said they would always be connected spiritually as Sentinel and Guide. 

Forcing his thoughts into new territory, Jim also wondered why he had put off telling Blair about the latest development in his life. He was very unhappy to think that if something had happened to Blair, that he might not get the chance to tell his partner just now much he had come to mean to him these past years. Jim knew that, thankfully, Blair was not dead, and he was being given a second chance. More like a third or fourth chance, he corrected. He would tell his partner that he was in love with him and he would take the chance that Blair would return his love. With his decision made, he finally fell asleep. 

His sleep was invaded with the same dream he had at the loft the last time he slept, and it woke him in the same manner. Awake, he couldn't get rid of the nagging thought that he was jout of reach of something important, whatever it was. Jim knew without a doubt that it was connected to Blair, but the dream started to evaporate once he woke and he couldn't quite figure out what was going on. Quickly, he tied up his sleeping bag and hit the highway. He was anxious to get to the next town to ask about Sandburg and find a cup of strong, hot coffee.

\-------------------------------------------------

The wolf was running as fast as he could. Something was chasing him and he was filled with fear. He looked back, but was unable to see what sent such fear through him. Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, the wolf caught a glimpse of a dark shape, but when he turned to look, it was gone. Finally, out of breath and unable to run any farther, he stopped, panting. He considered making a stand, fighting it out. Why did he feel so threatened by the dark shape? There was no reason to his flight other than fear, but fear of what? He stood looking in the direction from which he had run in panic. Nothing seemed to be following him. Not normally a fearful creature, he decided to backtrack to see what he could find. He sniffed the air and the ground constantly on the path back. The wolf finally caught the scent of something familiar. Excitedly, he forged ahead. What was it? Why didn't he recognize the scent? It was…

Blair awoke with a start and a groan escaped his lips before he could stop it. His heart was pounding and his head ached. 

Dani woke beside him and laid her hand on his chest. "Are you all right? You were having a bad dream. Are you awake?"

"Yeah, I'm awake. I'm sorry I woke you. Go back to sleep." 

"It's okay. It's almost dawn anyway. You know I'm always up at dawn. Do you want to tell me about the dream?"

Blair sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I wish I could remember more of it, but the details disappeared when I woke up." He stopped for a few moments before he said, "I do remember being afraid at first, then I'm looking for something, but I don't know what it is." Blair gave a small bark of laughter. "At least I think it's me. It looks like a dog or a wolf. I'm in its body and something is chasing me. Oh, I don't know." He groaned and rubbed his head. "It's so strange. I just don't know what is going on. It must be from banging my head, that's all I can think of." 

Dani watched him closely. He looked so confused and anguish tinged his voice. "How is your head? Does it hurt?" she asked sympathetically. 

"Yeah, it still hurts, but don't worry, I'll be okay. I think I just need something to drink and a couple of aspirins."

"I'll make us some tea." She smiled warmly at him. 

"Thanks. That sounds good." He returned her smile. 

Blair sat up and watched her moving about the cabin for a few minutes. She was really nice and he appreciated her help, but something was not right. He couldn't put his finger on why he felt that way, so he stared off into space, once again mulling over his situation. Everything felt wrong somehow, and he couldn't shake the feeling. The more he thought about it, the more his head hurt. 

"I must have done something in one of my former lives to piss off the gods," Blair mumbled under his breath. 

Dani heard the muttered words. She knew he was upset but she was confident that, in time, she could take his mind off his misgivings and that he would start to feel safe and secure with her. She was a very patient woman. They dressed and had breakfast. Dani wrote up more notes while Blair perused her book collection. 

After lunch, Dani filled a couple of water bottles. "Blair, I'm taking a run out to the site. We haven't been there for a few days and I'm worried that those damned looters might be ruining the work that we've accomplished." 

"I'll go with you," Blair announced, putting aside his book. 

"No. No way. You're not in any condition to go traipsing around in the desert."

Blair rose. "I'm feeling much better. Besides, I'm getting cabin fever, I think." He laughed lightly before he added, "Please. I want to see the site. It might help me remember. And I want to look for my backpack."

"Do you promise to sit under a tree and watch? No strenuous stuff? We'll run by the place where you fell and I'll look for the backpack, but you promise me or I'm not taking you."

"Promise!" Blair held up a hand, making the Boy Scout sign. "I swear." 

Dani laughed. "Okay, if you insist." 

"Cool," Blair answered and followed Dani to the truck. 

Because of the good rain from the previous days, it was a relatively dust-free trip to the site, first down a paved road and then across a dirt track. Dani drove slowly and carefully, mindful of Blair's recent injuries. Turning down another even narrower track and starting down a small grade, Dani suddenly hit the brakes and the old truck slid few feet on the gravel and dirt. 

"What is it?" Blair exclaimed, surprised at the sudden stop. 

"Look. Down the bottom of the hill. There's a truck at the site. It's those damned looters, I'll just bet you. They have a lot of nerve, coming here in broad daylight," she hissed through clenched teeth. Flooring the accelerator before Blair had a chance to respond, she sent the truck flying down the last hundred feet of road where it skidded to a halt a few feet from the trespassing truck. 

Blair quickly scanned the area. The intruding truck was empty and at first, he couldn't locate the occupants. Looking to his right, he spotted the trespassers and was immediately apprehensive. "Dani, what do you think you're doing? There are four of them." 

"The fucking looters! Gómez and those worthless buddies of his: Smythe, Billings and Anderson. I told the sheriff they'd been looting but he hasn't done a damned thing about it!" 

Blair watched the men while Dani spoke. He saw them react to their arrival and when the four started toward them, he saw something else and his blood ran cold. Each of them was armed with a shotgun. 

"They have guns!" Blair warned, reaching for her arm. Dani was too quick for him, though. She had already thrown open the door and slid out before he could grab her. Blair was stunned when she reached behind the truck's seat and pulled out a shotgun. 

"Well, I have one of my own and these bastards are not going to loot my site," Dani shouted. "Come on!" Running forward, she slid the chamber, loading the rounds. 

Blair opened his door and intercepted Dani, grabbing her arm and pulling her to a stop. "Dani, wait!" he yelled. "We need to get out of here before someone gets hurt. We'll call in the authorities." 

"No way, Blair. They never investigate this kind of stuff." Dani started to move past him, but Blair grabbed her right arm from behind and threw his other arm around her waist. He forcefully started dragging her back toward the truck. The four men covered the last twenty yards between them quickly and surrounded them. The ringleader stopped directly in front of them, brandishing his gun in their faces. The second man moved behind Blair and Dani, also pointing his shotgun at the couple. The other two men took up flanking positions, effectively blocking any escape route to the truck. 

Even though Dani was armed, Blair put himself between her and the leader of the pack. Holding up his hands, Blair said, "Hold on, guys. Take it easy. Just put down the guns. We aren't here to cause trouble." When Dani tried to move out from behind him, Blair pushed her back and wrapped his hand around the barrel of her shotgun to keep it pointed at the ground. 

Dani shouted at the men from behind Blair. "Gómez, you asshole, you and your worthless buddies better get the hell out of here. This is a protected site and you're trespassing. I've warned you before. I'm turning you in to the state patrol." 

Blair spoke over his shoulder at her, "Dani, please, you're only pissing them off. Let's just get out of here, and then we can worry about what we'll do if we make it out in one piece." Turning to the ringleader, Blair looked directly at the man. "We’re leaving."

Gómez moved forward and said menacingly, "Too late, motherfucker, I don't like being threatened." With that, he swung the butt of his shotgun into Blair's stomach, knocking the breath out of him and dropping him to his knees. He smirked while Blair struggled to catch his breath and tears of pain filled his eyes. 

Dani reacted, raising the shotgun barrel at Gómez, but the man on the right, Smythe, moved swiftly to grab the barrel and yanked the weapon from her hand. Billings, the man closest to Dani's left, moved quickly. He grabbed a handful of Dani's hair and smacked her across the face. Smythe pointed his shotgun at her. 

Finally, the fourth member of the gang, Anderson, spoke up. "That's enough. Stealing is one thing, but killing is another. I sure as hell am not going down for life, especially over some small time gig like this. You want to rough them up some, that's okay, but no killing." After a bit of muttering, his three cohorts finally agreed. 

Billings yanked Dani's head back and his bad breath fanned her face. "You're lucky you aren't worth it, bitch." He gave her hair another good yank and threw her to the ground beside Blair, who was just gathering enough breath to start to get up. Smythe pressed his shotgun barrel against Blair's back, making him stop on his knees with his hands in the air. Using the butt of his shotgun, Billings clipped Blair under the chin. It wasn't very hard, but his damaged head couldn't take another blow right then and it almost sent him into unconsciousness. On his hands and knees, it took many long minutes before he finally shook his head and regained his equilibrium. By the time he could rise to his knees and lean back on his heels, the men were gone and Dani was crying, hovering over him. 

"Are you okay?" Dani said through her tears. 

Blair was angry when he dragged himself to his feet. "What the hell were you thinking? You almost got us both killed," he shouted before wincing at the pain in his head. 

Dani cried harder. "Blair, I'm so -- ss-soo sorry. I w-was just so mad, seeing what they were do-doing. You should be, too. They -- they have no right to loot! You know that!"

Blair glared. "Let's get out of here. Now."

She was still crying and the side of her face where she had been struck was swelling. Blair took the keys and in spite of his throbbing head, managed to drive back to the cabin, but not without consequences. By the time they reached home, his head was pounding and he was sick to his stomach from the pain. He downed four of the painkillers and fell into the bed, sleeping for almost twelve hours straight. When Blair finally woke, Dani was contrite when she begged his forgiveness, blaming herself for being so stupid. She apologized for hours. When Blair realized that she was sincere, he finally forgave her. 

\-------------------------------------------------

It was a cool night and the small house was bathed in the moonlight that streamed through the window and fell on the bed. Blair lay on his side, dozing. He opened his eyes when he heard the bathroom door creak. He sat up and watched Dani cross the room. She had just taken a bath and her hair was still damp. Her skin had a light sheen of water on it that glimmered in the moonlight. Blair acknowledged that she was a beautiful woman. He knew that all he had to do was reach out his hand and she would be with him in bed, warm and naked. He moved his hand a few inches, the need to be held and comforted almost overpowering him. He was scared and alone and he needed to be touched. Dani came over to the side of the bed and looked into his eyes. Blair swallowed. He squeezed his eyes closed, then he opened them to meet her gaze, and said softly, "I'm sorry. I can't. I'm sorry," he whispered again. 

Dani smiled and shrugged. "It's okay. We have all the time in the world." 

Blair nodded and lay down. Dani dressed in a t-shirt and sweats before she joined him on the bed. 

"Good night, Blair. I'm sorry about…" 

"I know," Blair answered. "Good night."

\-------------------------------------------------

Jim Ellison parked his pickup in front of the sheriff's substation in Santa María, New Mexico. The town looked like the other eight or ten small towns he had been through in the last two days. Jim was starting to get a bit frustrated. So far, the only lead he had found was when he had stopped at a roadside stand owned by a Native American family. Colorful hand-woven rugs had hung along the wooden walls, and stacks of nicely painted pots stood in small piles. Jim had pulled over when he had seen the jaguar sitting in the truck bed of their blue pickup. After showing them Blair's picture, they had pointed out the direction Blair had taken when he left on Thursday afternoon. The grandmother and three children remembered Blair because he had stopped and talked to them for a good while about their lives on the reservation, and he had played a game of ball with the children. 

Jim talked to everyone else he had seen along the way, including the two hitchhikers he had picked up during the course of his travels. He had shown Blair's picture to every person with whom he had spoken, but with no further results. 

He went into the Santa María substation and spoke with the sheriff, asking the same questions again that he had asked a hundred times in the last few days. The sheriff looked at him with a bit of surprise when Jim informed him that he was a cop and showed his ID. Jim's normally clean-cut appearance was beginning to look a little haggard. He hadn't shaved since he left Cascade, although he had stopped at a truck stop for a shower the day before. 

Jim hadn't paid much attention to his appearance. He had on a wrinkled black t-shirt and a pair of well-worn black jeans. He also had on his black Jags baseball cap and the Puma sunglasses Blair had given him as a gift. Blair had loved the trademark of the big cat and had laughed about sunglasses being made for animal spirits. Wearing them made Jim feel more connected to Blair. 

Jim explained to the sheriff that he was on personal business and was looking for his missing friend. Once again, it was a dead end. The man followed Ellison out of his office and stood in the open doorway of the station. He wished the detective good luck in finding his partner before he turned and returned to his duties. 

Jim stood on the sidewalk in front of the substation, contemplating his next move. He considered going over to the diner across the street to get something to eat, but his stomach rebelled at the thought of food at the moment. Climbing back into the truck, he headed west out of town, stopping at a filling station on the outskirts to fill up with gas and check the oil. He bought a six pack of Jolt soda and hit the road. He had discovered the drink at a truck stop two days before. 'All the taste and twice the caffeine.' Jim normally avoided chemicals that could wreak havoc on his senses, but he was staying wired to ward off fatigue. After he found his partner, then he could worry about sleeping. 

The other reason Jim was avoiding sleep was because he was evading those dreams as long as he possibly could. His dreams and visions always had deeper meanings and at the moment, they were more haunting than useful and brought up more questions than answers. 

Jim started the engine and headed out of town. He was making pretty good time and figured from the map on the seat beside him that he had about sixty miles until the next town of any size. There were two or three spots in the road that should also be checked out between Santa María and Shiprock. According to his calculations, Blair couldn't have gotten much farther than the next town, so if he didn't find any sign of him by then, he planned on doubling back and checking every dirt road and driveway between there and Albuquerque. 

Jim let his mind wander while he drove. He decided that he liked the desert. He noticed that he seemed to have a better level of control over his senses in the openness. He could see for a long distance, and while his hearing could pick out many animal and insect sounds, all in all, the desert was a remarkably quiet place, with less interference than he had experienced in other locales. He liked feeling more in control of his surroundings. Feeling depressed at the moment, Jim decided that if things turned out badly, he was probably not going back to Cascade. He knew that without his Guide he would be at a definite disadvantage as a cop. All he would need was one good zone out in front of the bad guys and he would be dead. Worse than that, if he zoned while protecting some innocent person, he could possibly be responsible for their death. That was something he couldn't live with. He was better off not putting other people in danger. Maybe he would stay in the desert where he felt he had more control of his senses. 

Jim had been traveling for about thirty minutes when the truck engine stalled out. He knew that he wasn't out of gas, and he had just checked the oil. Coasting to the side of the road, Jim threw the transmission into park and climbed out with a few choice curse words. He threw up the hood and started a methodical check-up, finally finding that the coil wire had somehow shaken itself loose. Jim had pushed the wire back in its place and climbed in the cab to see if the engine would turn over, when he caught sight of movement in the desert. 

Jim focused. Ahead, he could see the jaguar pacing. He hopped out and started walking toward the animal. When he got closer, he could see that the earth seemed to drop away. Walking quickly, he was soon standing on the edge of a fairly steep grade that led to a dirt road about fifty feet below the surface of the paved one on which he had been traveling. Walking along the shoulder, he closely inspected the sand and crushed rocks along the edge. His eyes picked out the disturbed ground in a path from the highway through the dirt and down the side of the gully. Following the trail, Jim clambered down the side of the ravine, stopping and scanning the area carefully. He picked up several small pieces of plastic, tan plastic, and part of a rear view mirror, the same color of the Ford that Blair had rented. When he made it to the bottom of the grade, he could detect where the car had come to rest and he could see the spots where the gasoline, oil and other fluids had leaked out. Walking around carefully, Jim focused intently. Footprints were still visible in the deep sand, and trails from pieces of brush that had been dragged through it were visible as well. He walked a bit further and saw another set of tire tracks. 

Canvassing the area, he inspected each and every inch of ground. Something caught his attention and he knelt down to get a closer look. From the imprints of the tires, it looked like the second vehicle's tires had traveled over the first one's, going in a southerly direction. A long, thin impression touched the ground in several places between the tire tracks. Staring closely at the second imprint, he realized that it had been made by rope. Rising, his eyes followed the tracks until they disappeared from sight. The tracks of the second vehicle covered the first one sporadically, and he could clearly see how the first vehicle had towed the second one. Ellison followed the tracks for more than a quarter of a mile until he came to a steep gully washed out by the rain. Focusing on the bottom of the gorge, it took just a few moments before he spotted the abandoned vehicle. 

Jim panicked and ran headlong down the side of the ravine. He slid and fell on the loose dirt and rocks, hitting his arm on a jagged stone edge. He pulled himself to his backside and held his arm tightly to his chest. Examining the painful spot, he saw a gash a couple of inches long and deep enough to bleed profusely. Cursing himself out for his lack of control, Jim rose. Tearing off the hem of his t-shirt, he bound the wound tightly to stop the bleeding. After the emergency first aid, he proceeded the rest of the way to the bottom of the arroyo more carefully, opening his hearing to check the area for signs of life. By the time he reached the car, he already knew that no one was in the vehicle and when he got closer, he saw that the driver's door was ajar. Jim pulled it open and searched the interior intently for clues as to what had happened to Blair and who had towed the car. From the brush that was piled on and around the vehicle, Jim knew that someone had deliberately hidden it. The thought sent a chill up his spine. Had his partner met with some sort of foul play? Had he been wrong in his belief that Blair was still alive? 

Focusing back on the task at hand, Jim's search revealed Blair's black leather coat, the vehicle rental agreement in the glove compartment, an empty suitcase, and many pieces of broken pottery. Jim picked up several pieces, sniffing lightly. One larger piece in particular had Blair's scent clinging to it more strongly than the other pieces. The suitcase puzzled Jim. What had happened to the clothing? Had animals carted off the items? Jim didn't see any sign of that happening and he was confused about the discovery. 

After his examination, Jim grabbed Blair's coat and closed the door. He climbed on the hood of the car and opened his senses as wide as possible, scanning the entire area for any clues that would lead him to Blair's whereabouts. When nothing of any consequence registered to the Sentinel's sensitive senses, he hopped down and searched the ground. There were no footprints around the vehicle, although several sets of small animal prints could be seen coming and going. Apparently, some creature had taken up residence in the back seat. 

Jim was still scanning the area when he was startled by the most alarming cry and it set his blood running cold. He jumped and every hair on his arms and the back of his neck stood up. Following the sound, he quickly climbed back up the side of the gully, searching for its source. When he made it to the top, he stopped to catch his breath. Eyes focused, hearing opened to maximum, the next scream startled him yet again. Turning quickly, he peered in the direction of the haunting cry. Looking toward his truck, he saw the jaguar standing on the roof and next to it was a large wolf. Jim recognized the wolf instantly. It was the same animal that he had seen in his dreams, and it was the same wolf that his own animal spirit had melded with the day he had revived Blair beside the fountain at Rainier University. He started jogging toward the truck when the jaguar let out another loud growl. It seemed to be urging Jim to move, and move quickly. Holding his injured arm, Jim ran faster. Blinking as the sweat ran into his eyes, he ran a hand across them to wipe it away. By the time Jim refocused, the animal spirits were gone. 

Scanning the area, he saw a movement in the distance. He trained his vision on the dark figures outlined against the horizon. In the shimmering hot haze, Jim saw the panther, closely followed by the wolf, running full speed in the direction from which he had just come, back toward Santa María. Jim knew instantly that Blair, his Guide and partner, was there, and that he was in trouble. Jim hopped into the truck, turned the key, and cranked the engine, not surprised when it started easily. He turned around, tires screaming on the hot pavement, and raced back to the small desert town. 

\-------------------------------------------------

At sunrise, when Dani woke, she realized that Blair was not beside her. Rising, she shivered in the cool morning air and she pulled one of the blankets around her shoulders. The front door was open and she saw through the doorway that Blair was sitting cross-legged on the porch, staring out into the desert. 

"Blair?" Dani called. When he didn't respond, Dani walked to stand beside him, touching his shoulder lightly. "Good morning." 

Blair started. He glanced up at her, then looked away quickly but not quickly enough. Dani saw the flash of disappointment in his eyes. She knew that he was watching and waiting for someone, be it friend, family, or lover, but not for her. She hid her disappointment and as she sat down beside him, she wondered how long it would be before he learned to accept her as his companion, friend and hopefully, lover. 

"You hungry?" Dani said quietly. 

"No."

"You need to eat to help your body recover, Blair."

"I'm going into town today."

"But, Blair, you're not ready-"

Blair turned his head to look directly into her eyes. "I'm going into town. You can take me or I can walk," he stated adamantly. 

Dani lowered her head, hiding her disappointment. She refused to ask the next question. Was he coming back?

Blair put a hand on her knee. "Please, Dani. I need to do this."

"Do what? Pretend our life together doesn't matter? What about our work?"

"I need to know who I am."

"I've told you who you are! Why can't you believe me?"

Blair stared off. "It doesn't fit. I'm sorry, but I feel so lost." 

Dani moved closer and tentatively slid an arm around his waist. "I can make you feel better, Blair. You might not remember, but you used to tell me how much you loved me. You could feel that way again if you'd make love to me." 

"Dani, please. I'm sorry, but I don't feel love for you. I feel grateful that you've helped me, but…" Unwilling to argue, he stopped and sighed. "I'm going into town today." Blair gave her a sad smile and patted her knee again, trying to temper his words. He suddenly felt guilty. The woman had saved his life. She shared her home with him, but he felt nothing for her other than simple gratitude. He did not love her and he knew that he never would. "I appreciate everything you've done, but I know I don't belong here."

"But Blair, you do belong." He started to protest, but Dani quickly added, "Even if that's true, why not stay until you feel more at home? You admit you don't remember anything. How can you feel you don't belong if you don't remember?"

"Dani, please!" Blair rose. "Listen. Let's go into town and speak to the sheriff. He can run my fingerprints at least. Maybe that will give me some information. I need to do this."

Dani rose and stood facing Blair. "What happens if you don't like what you find?" 

"Meaning what? Is there something you know that you haven't told me?" 

"No! No, it's just that sometimes fate gives you a second chance. Maybe this is yours. Maybe finding out is wrong or bad."

"Dani, I refuse to believe that. Besides, I'm not a coward. I can face whatever I am or what I've done. I find it hard to believe I'm here," Blair waved a hand, taking in the surroundings, "hiding out from the law. And if I am, well, then, it's about time my past caught up with me." Blair walked down the porch steps. "Thank you for everything. I really mean that," he said before turning to walk down the driveway. 

Dani watched his retreating back for a few long moments before she called, "Blair, wait!" When he turned, she waved a hand. "I'll drive you." 

"You sure?" he called. 

"Yes. I'm sure. You're in no condition to be hitchhiking around the desert. Besides, there's another storm rolling in." Dani scanned the horizon. 

"Thank you again," Blair said, returning to the house. "I appreciate it. One of these days, I'll repay you for what you've done for me."

"Forget it," Dani snapped. "Let's go." While Blair climbed into the passenger's seat, Dani went back inside for a moment, retrieving her keys and daysack. 

The drive into town was made in awkward silence. Blair felt the need to keep thanking Dani for everything she'd done, but he knew she was hurt and angry that he was leaving, so he remained silent. 

Dani kept her eyes on the road. Her heart was breaking. Blair was abandoning her and she couldn't stop him. Once again, she would be alone. It was always her fault. She blinked away the tears and bit her lip against the hurtful words that she almost gushed out several times. 

Pulling into Santa María, Dani stopped in front of the sheriff's substation. Blair jumped out and turned the knob of the office door. He rattled the door before he turned and shrugged. 

Dani leaned out the window. "Sheriff's probably out on a call. It's still early, maybe he hasn't gotten in yet." 

Blair glanced around. "You don't have to hang around. I know you're busy."

Dani shook her head. "I don't like leaving you alone without a way to get back home again. You know, in case you don't find out anything today. I'll wait with you." 

"Let's go over to the diner. I'll treat you to breakfast." Blair smiled. "Let me rephrase that. If I had any money, I'd treat you to breakfast."

Dani gave Blair a small smile. "I could use a cup of coffee. It will be my treat. After all, I owe you back pay for all your work these last few months." 

"Okay, thanks. I could eat." Blair climbed back into the truck. 

Dani pulled across the street and parked. They took a booth in the back of the almost deserted diner. 

"What will you have?" the tired waitress asked. 

"Tea and cinnamon toast, please," Dani answered. 

"Coffee, hot and black, and a big piece of that apple pie." Blair smiled at the woman, who returned the bright smile with a weary one of her own. 

"Sure, sweetie. Anything you want." Tucking her pencil behind her ear, the waitress first brought the coffee and tea. The apple pie was next and in a few minutes, the toast appeared. 

"Enjoy," the waitress said. 

"Thanks." Blair gave her another smile. 

Dani kept her head bowed, avoiding conversation with the friendly woman. A small stab of jealousy coursed through her body. How could Blair be so friendly with a total stranger and be so cold to her? She stirred cream into her tea and barely nibbled the toast. 

Blair ate the pie slowly, enjoying the flavor of the tart apples, and was just finishing his coffee when he glanced out the window. "Hey, the sheriff's cruiser is parked in front of the station. He must have just gotten back." Swallowing the last sip, Blair said, "I need to use the restroom, then we'll go over and see if he can help."

Dani nodded, dropped some money on the table and started toward the door. "I'll wait outside."

"Okay. I'll be right out." 

Dani stood hesitantly at the bottom of the short flight of steps that led to the diner's front door. She didn't want to go to the sheriff's office with Blair, but she didn't have a good reason to give him for her reluctance. The thought that she had committed a crime by keeping Blair's identity from him didn't cross her mind. Dani didn't see her actions as kidnapping. She saw them as heroic. After all, she'd saved his life. He belonged to her. She convinced herself that the sheriff would laugh off Blair's inquiries and tell him to go on home where he belonged. 

Dani stepped off the bottom riser and started across the parking lot. She'd made it about half way when she turned and saw Blair exiting the diner. She had stopped to wait for him when a full-size black pickup truck pulled into the parking lot and stopped between her and Blair. 

Blair saw the truck and he started down the stairs, calling out a warning to Dani. He recognized it as the same one that had been at the dig site when he and Dani had run into trouble. It was the same one that the looters had been driving. When the truck stopped between them, obstructing Blair's view of her, he was instantly alarmed. 

Blair started to skirt around the truck, but the man in the passenger's seat leapt out and managed to grab the back of Blair's shirt when he ran past. One of the two men in the truck bed hopped down on the opposite side, where Dani was blocked from Blair's view. The driver, the one Blair recognized as the man Dani had called Gómez the day of the altercation, was already out of the truck's cab and he had joined his cohort and Dani on the other side of the truck. The fourth man propped his foot up on the side of the truck bed and watched the goings-on with amusement. 

The man holding Blair's shirt shoved his shotgun into Blair's back. "Move it, asshole," he ordered, pushing the barrel into Blair's skin. Blair walked quickly, anxious to get closer to Dani. He bit his lip when he saw that Gómez was holding Dani by the arm and he could see his fingers digging into her skin. 

"Leave her alone!" Blair shouted, stunned that the men were accosting them in broad daylight, within a hundred yards of the sheriff's office. That was when he smelled alcohol on the breath of the man behind him. The other men were drunk also, he quickly realized. The stink of whiskey, sweat and dirt clung to their clothes and skin. "Let me go," Blair growled to Smythe, pulling on his shirt. 

Smythe shoved the barrel of his shotgun against the side of Blair's neck. "Want to see what buckshot does to skin?" he asked conversationally, his foul breath making Blair choke. 

Ignoring Blair and Smythe, Gómez kept his attention on Dani. Billings stood off to the side of Dani and Gómez, gun cradled on his arm, watching with a bored expression on his face. 

"Seems like you owe me something," Gómez said. 

"Go to hell," Dani hissed, tugging on her arm. "Let me go." She clenched her fist and swung, connecting with the end of his chin.

The man barely flinched. Roughly shaking her arm, Gómez laughed. "You can do better than that, bitch. How about you and me having a little fun, huh?" He leaned forward as if to kiss her but she leaned back quickly. He laughed again. "Come on, we aren't good enough for you?" He shoved her hard, making her stumble back into the arms of Billings, who had moved behind her. 

Dani pulled herself away from Billings. "You're all drunk!" she cried. 

Gómez shrugged. "We have lots more. We're willing to share if you are." 

"Fuck you!" Dani cried, pushing Gómez forcefully with both hands. 

Dani's sudden movement caught him off guard and in his drunken state he stumbled backward, tripped over his own feet, and fell to his backside with a hard thump. The barrel of his shotgun wavered wildly, and his attempts to catch himself made him clench his fingers. The shotgun discharged, striking Anderson, who was standing in the truck bed, in the face and neck. 

Anderson's body fell backwards from the force of the blast. He dropped his shotgun, and it fell over the side and struck the truck's wheel well. Both barrels discharged, striking Dani full in the chest. She fell silently into the dirt. 

Blair screamed, "No!" Twisting savagely, he struck Smythe hard across the face, fist closed, connecting with a solid right hook. Smythe dropped into a heap, unconscious. After yanking the shotgun from Smythe's hands, Blair ran to Dani's side, slid to his knees and dropped the gun. He reached out and touched her face with a single finger. 

From across the street, the sheriff had seen the commotion, but by the time he had managed to get close enough to intervene, Dani was already dead. He pointed his pistol at the other men and shouted, "Drop your weapons!" 

Simultaneously, a blue and white Ford pickup tore into the parking lot at full speed and slid to a halt close to the melée. Jim Ellison leapt out, gun drawn. 

The sheriff acknowledged Jim's presence with a quick flick of his eyes and a nod. Jim returned the nod, keeping his eyes trained on the armed men. The sheriff trained his gun on Billings, while Jim took aim at Gómez after he ascertained that the man Blair had struck was down and out. After seeing their dead buddy, and with their bravado quickly gone, Gómez and Billings threw their hands in the air, surrendering immediately. Jim cuffed Gómez while the sheriff cuffed Billings. Pulling a set of disposable cuffs from his jacket, the sheriff rolled the unconscious Smythe over and cuffed him also. 

"Thanks, Detective," the sheriff said to Jim. One of the deputies had joined the scene to aid his boss. When the sheriff yanked Billings to his feet, he shoved him into his deputy's hands. "Take this shithead to lockup." Turning to Jim, he said, "That's your partner, isn't it?" At Jim’s nod, he cocked his head toward Blair. "Go. We'll take care of these idiots." 

Jim pulled Gómez to his feet. When the sheriff had a hand clamped on Gómez's arm, Jim said, "Thanks." Walking over to Blair's side, Jim knelt in the dirt next to his partner. 

"Chief?" Jim said softly. 

Blair raised his head, eyes wide and distressed. "Jim?" he whispered. "Is it you?"

"Yeah, Sandburg. It's me. Come on. Let's get you out of here." Jim put a hand on Blair's shoulder. 

Blair shook his head, staring back at Dani's body. "I don't know what to do," he said hesitantly. 

"Come on, Blair, let me help you up," Jim said quietly. 

The deputy returned with a blanket and covered the body. Jim put a hand under Blair's elbow and helped him to his feet. Dazedly, Blair watched Jim closely as if he expected him to disappear in a puff of smoke. Woodenly, he moved his feet while Jim gently tugged. 

"Come on, Sandburg. Let's sit down for a few minutes." Jim led Blair around the truck to block their view of the body, and pushed him down onto the diner's bottom step. Blair sat with his head down and his hands dangling between his knees. Jim slipped an arm across Blair's shoulders and sat quietly, hoping that his presence would offer some comfort to his friend. 

"Excuse me."

Jim and Blair looked up. The sheriff stood before them, holding a brown leather backpack. "Are you Detective Blair Sandburg?" he asked. 

Blair nodded. "Yeah."

"Then this is yours," the sheriff said, handing over the backpack. "I found it behind the seat in Dani's truck. I'm not quite sure what happened, but are you okay?"

Blair shrugged. "I think so. Thanks," he added, taking the backpack from the sheriff's extended hand. He stared at the brown leather, not bothering to open it. He knew instantly what was in it – his life. Blair closed his eyes and drew the backpack into his arms. 

"Detective Ellison, thank you for backing me up." Holding out his hand, he added while they shook, "I'm glad you found your partner. I'd appreciate a report, but you can fax me something later. Good luck." 

"Thanks, Sheriff," Jim said. "Do you need any help with…?" Jim waved a hand in the general direction of Dani's body. 

"No. No, the county has a budget if there's no family to take care of arrangements. Thanks for asking." 

Jim nodded. "There's wrecked rental car about twenty miles out of town…" 

The sheriff held up a hand. "Just give me the location and the rental info before you leave. I'll make the calls to the appropriate people and explain what happened." 

"Thank you, Sheriff. That would help a lot," Jim said. 

The sheriff smiled and left to finish his investigation. Jim watched for a few moments while the sheriff took photographs of the scene. Turning his attention back to Blair, he wasn't sure what to say, so he said the first thing he that came to mind. "I've missed you, partner. It's good seeing you. You need a bath." 

After many long moments, Blair tore his eyes away from the backpack and looked at his Sentinel. "I want to go home, please," he said quietly. 

Jim squeezed his Guide's shoulder and nodded. "Me, too, Chief." 

\-------------------------------------------------

Directing Blair to his truck, Jim opened the door, helped Blair in, and buckled his seatbelt. He closed the door and leaned on the window frame. 

"Chief, would you be happier flying back to Cascade? It's a twenty-hour drive. It might be easier…" 

Blair's head slowly turned and distressed blue eyes stared. Not a word was said, but Jim got the message loud and clear. 

"Don’t look at me in that tone of voice," Jim muttered. "Okay, okay. We'll drive back together." Jim sighed. "Blair, I'm not trying to get rid of you, I'm worried about you."

"Please take me home, Jim."

"Yeah, right." 

Jim climbed in, started the engine, and headed for Cascade. The drive was frustrating and depressing. Blair seemed so out of it that Jim was worried out of his mind the entire time. Mostly, Blair slept curled up on the seat, one hand always touching Jim's leg. It was almost as though Blair thought he would disappear or desert him. Jim didn't stop except for food and fuel, and he drove like a man possessed. He broke every speed limit in five states but wasn't pulled over once during the entire trip. He gave thanks to whatever highway gods were watching over them. He had washed his arm at one of the gas station restrooms and put a clean bandage from his first aid kit on it. He knew that it probably needed a few stitches, but his own care would have to wait. Blair came first. 

Jim bought tidbits and snacks at each fuel stop, trying to tempt Blair into eating. Blair ignored the food, although he did drink two bottles of papaya juice that Jim had opened for him after one of their stops. The moment Jim hit the outskirts of Cascade, he was on his cell phone asking their personal physician, Jeff Roberts, to meet them at the ER at Cascade Memorial as soon as possible. 

Jeff Roberts was in the ER waiting room when Jim escorted Blair into the hospital. 

"Jim, he's looking a bit worse for wear. Let's get him onto a gurney."

Jim nodded, helping his partner lie down on a gurney that Jeff commandeered from an orderly. 

"What happened?" Jeff asked, pushing the gurney into the nearest empty examination room. 

"He's been missing for about a week. I found him eighteen hours ago in New Mexico. He hasn't said more than a dozen words."

"That's not the Blair Sandburg we know and love now, is it?" Jeff smiled at Blair, who returned the comment with a dazed look. 

"Jim, you know the drill," Jeff said. The two nurses who followed them into the ER had Blair stripped and covered with a sheet in record time. 

Jim nodded. "Yeah, unfortunately, I know the drill." With a hand on Blair's arm, he said, "Chief, I'll be right outside, listening."

Blair's eyes met Jim's and he nodded. Jim turned to leave, but Blair's fingers latched onto his sleeve. Jim turned. "Blair?" Jim smiled and put his hand over Blair's. "I promise, I'm not leaving without you. Okay? You just relax and let Jeff give you the once-over."

Blair nodded and submitted to the exam quietly. Jim shook his head and gave Jeff an unhappy look. They both knew that if Blair didn't protest being poked and prodded, something was definitely wrong. With a parting squeeze to his partner's hand, Jim left to take care of the paperwork and wait for his partner. 

While Jim was sitting in the waiting room, one of the nurses who had taken care of him on a previous visit to the ER stopped to chat. She saw the bandage on Jim's arm and after waving off his protests, she took Jim into an exam room and checked his injury. She washed the wound, applied an antiseptic cream and a sterile bandage. 

"Detective, it's been open too long for stitches, so it will have to heal on its own. It looks clean, but you're going to have a scar." 

"Thanks, Maggie. No big deal. A scar I can live with. Without my partner, I can't." 

Maggie smiled. "He'll be fine."

"I know. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Good seeing you, Detective."

"You too, Maggie."

Back in the waiting room, Jim waited another hour before Jeff emerged. 

"Jeff?"

"Relax, Jim. He's going to be okay. He's in pretty good shape, considering what he's been through. His x-rays are all clear and everything else looks acceptable. He'll recover from the concussion. It was a nasty one, but with a week of solid rest, he'll be fine. He's an extremely lucky guy considering that he didn't have proper medical care." 

"Can he come home?"

"Yes. I'll give you a list of instructions. He's agreed to stay off his feet for forty-eight hours. Then he needs to round out the week with plenty of rest, good food, and nothing strenuous to aggravate his head injury. He can take non-aspirin pain relievers if he needs to for headaches. No drugs or alcohol. If you're willing to watch out for him, you may take him home." 

"Did he tell you what happened?" 

"Honestly, Jim, he didn't say a lot, which for Blair is unusual to say the least. I got the general rundown, but I think you might consider asking him to talk with someone. I've suggested it already. I know your department has people to handle these things and I think it's a good idea. Other than that, I think you can take him home and just follow my instructions. I want to see him in a week. Call my office and set up an appointment."

"Thank you, Doctor. I really appreciate it." 

"Sure, Ellison. Now let's go and get that partner of yours home and in bed." 

Following Jeff, Jim was happy to see Blair sitting up and dressed. "Hey, Chief, the doctor says your hard head will be okay."

Blair looked at Jim tiredly. "Can we go home now, please?" 

"Sure, Sandburg, let's get you home."

\-------------------------------------------------

Blair walked into the loft and stood in the middle of the living room. "It's so good to be home."

Jim walked over and took the backpack from Blair's hand. "It's good to have you home." 

"Thanks, man." 

"Come on. Shower, food, then sleep."

"Jim, I'm too tired to shower. Just sleep." Blair walked toward his room. 

Jim dropped the backpack on the kitchen table. "Blair, you need a shower." Jim tapped his nose, making Blair finally give Jim a half-hearted smile. 

"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry, man. Your senses are probably going nuts."

"It's okay, Chief. I got it handled. I'll start the water while you grab clean clothes. Then I'll fix a bite while you get clean. You'll feel a lot better after a shower and food. You'll be in dreamland in thirty minutes. Trust me."

Blair nodded, smiling again. It was a private joke between them when they said 'trust me'. It always made them smile. Besides, it felt good to be fussed over especially by Jim, Blair's tired mind reminded him. "Okay, Jim." 

True to his word, when Blair emerged from the shower, Jim had grilled cheese sandwiches and bowls of vegetable soup on the table. Jim himself was hungry. He downed two sandwiches and two bowls of soup while Blair ate one sandwich and finished almost a full bowl of soup. Satisfied that his partner had eaten enough for the moment, Jim gave Blair two pain pills before he guided the sleepy man to his room and tucked him into bed. 

"Call me if you need anything. Sleep well, Chief."

"Thanks, for everything." Blair's eyes closed. In moments, he was fast asleep. 

"Sure. Anything for you," he said softly to the sleeping man. He touched Blair's forehead lightly, pushing a strand of damp hair out of his face. "Love you, Chief." 

Jim went to shower. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Jim emerged from his long, hot shower to a knocking on the door. 

"Ellison!" 

Pulling open the door, Jim held a finger up to his lips. "Quiet! Sandburg's asleep."

Simon Banks strode into the room, a very large, very angry man. "Where the fuck have you been?" 

"Save it, Simon. I haven't slept in almost three days. Fire me now and get it over with."

"For God's sake, Jim. I've been worried shitless over you two!" 

Jim rubbed his forehead. "I know. I know. I'm sorry, Simon. I had to go. You know that."

"Is he okay?"

Jim sighed. "Yeah, more or less. I'm not sure what the hell happened, but he's okay. I had Dr. Roberts check him out."

"Why didn't you call me from the hospital? Damn it, Ellison, I thought we were friends."

"Simon, please…" Jim's eyes drooped. 

"You look like shit! Are you going to pass out on me?"

"Sorry, Simon." Jim's body shook. 

Simon clamped an arm around Jim's waist and led him over to the sofa. "Sit before you fall over." 

"Thanks, Simon." Jim gratefully sank into the sofa and rested his head back. "He's got a concussion and he's - quiet. He's been through a lot. I just need to give him a little time, that's all. He'll…" Jim's voice trailed off and his eyes glazed over

"Jim! Jim!" Simon leaned over Jim, shaking his shoulders. "Come on, Ellison. Don't zone on me now." 

"Wha…?" Jim shook his head and blinked. "Oh, sorry. Blair's having a nightmare." Jim struggled to rise. 

Simon clamped a hand under Jim's elbow and helped him to his feet. "You're in no condition to take care of yourself, let alone your partner." 

"He needs me." Jim cocked his head. "Simon, please." Jim pulled his arm from Simon's grasp and went to Blair's room, Simon at his heels. 

Blair was tossing and turning. His face was sweaty and the blankets were tangled around his legs. His t-shirt was sweat-soaked and his arms and legs thrashed as if he were running a marathon. 

"Hell, Jim. The kid looks bad."

"Yeah, I know. I'll calm him down. He'll be okay." Jim sat on the side of Blair's bed and placed a hand on his forehead. At Jim's touch, Blair stopped his thrashing almost immediately. 

Simon saw the look on Jim's face. The usually stoic face was soft and dreamy. A loving smile was plastered on his lips. The news hit Simon like a Mack truck. Jim was in love with Blair.

Simon rolled his eyes and muttered, "God help us all."

"What?"

"Nothing, Jim. Take care of the kid. I'll let myself out."

"Huh? Oh, okay, Simon. Talk to you later." Jim waved a perfunctory hand at Simon, his mind already centered on his Guide. 

Jim put one hand on Blair's chest and another on his forehead. He leaned down and put his lips close to Blair's ear. "Chief, you're dreaming. Come on, Blair. Settle down. Everything's okay. I'm here. You're safe. I'll protect you, my love." 

Jim listen until Blair's heart rate and respiration settled. He peeled a few strands of damp hair from Blair's face and neck. Rubbing Blair's arm, Jim murmured, "Good, Sandburg. Relax and sleep. You'll be okay."

"Jim?" Blair's eyelids fluttered.

"I'm here."

With his eyes still closed, Blair said softly, "Stay with me, please."

Silently, Jim slid onto the bed and tenderly slipped an arm under Blair's shoulders, encouraging him to snuggle. Blair turned to his side toward Jim, nestled his head on his shoulder, slipped an arm around his waist, and sighed contentedly. 

"I was so lost," Blair said, Sentinel-soft. 

"Shhh. Sleep. You're found now."

\-------------------------------------------------

It was twelve hours later when Jim opened his eyes. He lay very still. Sometime during the night, Blair had rolled over and Jim had spooned up behind him. He had his arm around Blair's waist, holding him close. He was surprised that he was in Blair's bed, but he knew why. He was happy that he had his arms wrapped around his partner, but he was scared out of his mind. He wondered what kind of turn his life was now taking and he had to pee. Carefully, Jim rose and raced to the bathroom, sighing gratefully while his bladder thanked him for the relief. He washed his face and hands, brushed his teeth, and splashed cool water on his face before heading to the kitchen for food. 

Pulling open the fridge, Jim made a foray like a man on a mission. Eggs, tomatoes, cheese, mushrooms and a red onion hit the counter. In the cupboard, he brought out cans of jalapeños and black olives, along with a fresh jar of hot salsa. Another fast hop into the freezer and Jim felt victorious when he found a pack of flour tortillas. 

Rubbing his hands together in anticipation, Jim set to work. First, the oven was turned on and the tortillas, wrapped in foil, were tossed in. Then, with his largest frying pan on the stove, Jim drizzled in extra-virgin oil and lit the burner. In a large bowl, Jim sliced, diced, minced and dumped all of the ingredients together to create a huge Ellison-style Mexican omelet. When he poured the concoction into the hot skillet, it was an inch deep and covered the pan completely. He smiled and let his masterpiece cook to perfection. Starting a large pot of coffee, Jim set the table for two. 

Jim expertly slid the omelet onto a plate, covered it with the frying pan, and turned the plate over to let the omelet flop back into the pan. With the lightly browned top revealed, Jim tested his masterpiece with a finger. Just a few more minutes and the omelet would be finished. Jim pulled out the tortillas, wrapped them in a clean towel to keep warm, slid them onto a plate, and set the plate on the table. He pulled the pan from the stove, rested it on a trivet on the dining table, and covered it with a lid to keep hot. 

Jim went to Blair's room and sat down. With a light touch, he rubbed Blair's arm. "Hey, Chief. Breakfast is ready."

Blair slowly opened his eyes and stretched. "Morning, Jim."

"Actually, it's afternoon, but I'm starving. I've made food. Are you hungry?"

Blair considered for a long moment before his face broke into a radiant smile. "Yeah, I'm hungry. Thanks." 

"Come on. Let's eat while it's hot." Jim was thrilled that Blair looked calm and rested. 

Blair slid from the bed and followed Jim to the table. "Sit, Sandburg. I'll get coffee."

"This smells wonderful. Mexican omelet? Oh man, what a treat!" Blair said, pulling the lid from the pan. "It's beautiful! I almost hate to cut it, but…" Wielding the spatula, Blair dished out several huge portions onto the plates while Jim brought the coffee over to the table. Licking his fingers, Blair grinned. "Jim, this is great. I'm starved."

Jim tore into the foil pack of tortillas and spooned a large portion of the eggs onto the flat surface. Rolling expertly, he took a huge bite of the breakfast burrito. Blair followed suit and they ate quietly until their hunger was sated. Blair managed to finish off two burritos while Jim downed three. Leaning back, Blair patted his stomach. 

"Thanks, man. That hit the spot."

"I'm happy you enjoyed it, Chief. More coffee?" 

"Yes, please. I'll get it."

"No way, Sandburg. You're off your feet, more or less, for another day at least."

Blair smiled. "Thanks, Jim." 

After he had refreshed the cups with more hot coffee, Jim set them on the edge of the coffee table. "Come on, Chief. Time for a talk."

Blair rolled his eyes. "Do we have to?" he whined. 

Jim laughed. "Yes, we have to." Suddenly, Jim was serious. "Really, Blair, if you don't want to talk to me, it's okay. I didn't mean to push. You know, in case it's private." 

Blair shook his head. "No, Jim, it's not that. It's just -- I'm not sure what happened. It's so confusing." He sat on the sofa beside his partner. Turning and tucking a leg under him, he said softly, "Did we sleep together last night, Jim, or was I dreaming?"

Jim sipped his coffee. "Nothing like getting to the point, huh, Chief?"

Blair shrugged. "You know me, man. Plow right in. Get head whacked off."

"First thing's first. Pain meds." Rising and fetching two of the pink pills from the bottle on the counter, Jim dropped them into Blair's outstretched hand. 

"Thanks, Jim."

Jim smiled, watching Blair down the medication. "Tell me what you remember. What you want to tell me. What you need to tell me." Jim blushed. "Yes," he answered, referring to Blair's question. 

"Yes?" Blair saw the blush. "Oh."

"Oh?"

"Oh, man." Blair's blush joined Jim's. "It's true?"

Jim shrugged. "Yes."

"Cool, I hope."

Jim's eyes met Blair's. "You hope?"

"Yes."

"Sandburg, please!" 

"What?"

"The one syllable answers are driving me nuts. At this rate, it will take years to get to it."

"It will?"

"Definitely."

"Sorry."

"Chief!" 

"Jim!" 

Jim turned and held out his arms. Blair immediately melted into his embrace. "Geez, Jim, it took you long enough." 

Settling Blair's head comfortably into the crook of his arm, Jim looked down into his upturned face. "I'm a slow learner." 

"Not too slow, I hope." Blair wrapped his arms around Jim's body. 

"Oh, I may surprise you yet."

"Surprise me, Jim," Blair invited. 

Jim smiled, leaned down and kissed his lover gently, tenderly, and lovingly. Blair sighed into the kiss, smiling when their lips met. Skin brushed against skin, slowly. There was no hurrying, no pushing, no forcing. Just a gentle exploration that ended a minute later with two pairs of blue eyes smiling at each other, drinking in the other's dreamy look and flushed face. 

"God…" Blair blurted out. 

"Yeah," Jim agreed.

"I love you."

"Me, too. I love you."

Blair sighed and squeezed his lover lightly. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming for me."

"Chief, if I can go to Perú for Simon and Daryl, I sure as hell can go to New Mexico for you."

"I was so happy to see you. You have no idea how happy." 

"I'm happy you're happy. I was really worried about you," Jim said, before lapsing into silence to give Blair the time he needed to get his thoughts in order. 

After a long silence, Blair finally spoke. "It was the strangest thing. I remember not remembering. Funny, huh? I was apprehensive and okay at the same time. I felt bad and good. I wanted nothing more than to get out of there, but then I was okay being there. Man, that sounds really crazy."

"It sounds like you were confused, Chief. Not crazy. You had- have a concussion. Jeff said it's a pretty good one so that's why you felt so mixed up. It's no wonder your emotions were in turmoil and it must have been pretty damned scary."

"I felt more out of place than scared, except for, well you know, when those guys came after us. Then I was scared. This is going to sound weird, too, but I felt obligated to Dani. But then I wanted to get away so badly! I felt trapped, and I didn't like that things were way out of my control." 

"You know none of it was your fault." Jim put a finger under Blair's chin and tipped his face up until their eyes met. "You know that, don't you, Blair?" 

Sighing, Blair nodded. "Yeah, I know, it was a cosmic chain of events. I feel really guilty, though."

"Why?"

"I'm just so fucking glad to be home! I know where I belong. Man, I was going crazy trying to understand why I wanted to get away after she told me about our life together." 

"What did she tell you?" 

Blair sighed. "That I came to help her at a dig. That we were lovers for four months. That we were in love." 

"Blair, how were you to know any different? You thought the woman was telling you the truth. No wonder you were fucked up. She kidnapped you, Chief."

"I know, but I didn't feel kidnapped, just confused." Blair bit his lip before he said, "I didn't want anybody to die."

"I know you didn't. You don't have that kind of animosity in you, Sandburg. That's one of the things I love about you."

"Oh? Are there other things you love about me?"

"Yeah."

"Well?" Blair asked, stifling a yawn. 

Jim chuckled. "Come on. Nap time." 

"I'm not tired. I'm good," Blair said around another yawn. 

"I bet you are."

Blair managed a tired laugh. "Oh, goodie. Double entendres. I love you, you jerk."

"Your bed or mine?" Jim said, tugging Blair toward the stairs. 

"What?" Blair replied in a surprised voice.

"Sandburg, it was a simple question for someone with your IQ."

"Really?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "No, I was just jerking you around. Of course!" 

"Yours, then."

"Ours, then." 

Blair gave Jim a dazzling smile. "Ours. Sounds nice."

"Come on, off to bed."

"Bathroom first."

Blair slipped from Jim's grasp and headed to the bathroom. Jim followed. Blair smiled over his shoulder. "I can handle this mission on my own, Jim. Trust me."

Jim laughed, remembering. "You sure?" 

Blair laughed. "I got it handled."

"I'd like to try."

"Oh, shit."

Jim shrugged, grinning. "You're too easy, Chief."

Blair chuckled while he closed the bathroom door. Knowing Jim wouldn't be able to resist listening to make sure he didn't take a header, Blair quipped, "I may be easy, but I ain't cheap." He grinned when he heard Jim's laughter. Blair closed his eyes and listened to the melodious sound. God, he loved that guy. "Oh, man," Blair said softly, "just call me Dorothy, because there's no place like home." 

Jim tapped on the door. "Hurry up, Dorothy, or Tornado Ellison is going to come in there and carry you away to Kansas." 

Blair laughed and hurried. 

\-------------------------------------------------

Blair lay sprawled out on the sofa. Jim's note had said he was going to the station to talk to Banks about his AWOL status, and that he would be home later with dinner. Catching up on the evening news, Blair enjoyed the feeling of being home, feeling safe and being in love. He smiled, content, and thanked the heavens above for his stroke of good luck. If being hurt and kidnapped was what it took to reveal Jim's true feelings for him, then Blair was happy to have obliged. He chuckled to himself and flipped the channel to catch the game highlights on ESPN. Hearing the elevator stop at the third floor, Blair rose and pulled the front door open. He smiled, watching his lover exit the elevator and walk toward him. 

"Oh, hey, man. Let me help." Blair moved forward to take a few of the grocery sacks from Jim's arms. 

"I got it, Chief. You're supposed to be resting."

"Jim, I've slept more in the last two days than I have in my entire life. I'm all slept-out, man. But I am hungry," he added, eying the large bag from Cohen's Deli.

Jim laughed while he set the bags down on the counter. Reaching onto the deli sack, he started pulling out items. "A dozen fresh hard rolls. A pound each of smoked turkey, pastrami, aged Swiss cheese and a great sharp cheddar." Setting the items down, he reached in again. "Half a dozen extra-garlic dills and a jar of Mabel's homemade spicy brown mustard."

"God, Jim. What a feast! When do we eat?" 

"I'm not finished yet, Speedy. Let's see. A pound of potato salad and another of coleslaw. And…" Reaching into the very bottom, Jim held up a see-through plastic container, "Ta da! Six slices of Burt's New York style cheesecake." 

Blair's mouth watered. "A picnic!" 

"Good idea, Chief. Spread out a blanket. I'll get plates and soda. We'll eat on the living room floor." 

Jim grinned at Blair's renewed enthusiasm. Happy that his partner was feeling and acting more like himself, he pulled plates from the cupboard. They loaded all the goodies on two large trays, along with silverware, a sharp knife and napkins. They spread their picnic on the blanket Blair had laid out and dug in, laughing and sharing bites. Plates of potato salad and coleslaw, along with thick sandwiches and crunchy dill pickles, disappeared to the sounds of appreciative murmurs. They each found room to share a piece of cheesecake before tummies announced that they were full, for the time being. 

"Jim, that was great! You're a keeper, you know," Blair said teasingly, licking his lips. 

"Good thing, Chief. I'm too big to toss back now." 

"You're not catch and release, Jim. You're catch and keep." Blair grinned. 

"I'll clean up and then we'll relax."

"I'll help."

"No, you'll rest." 

"Jim, you're spoiling me here, man."

"Better take advantage now, Chief. By next week, I'll be back to my usual mean and nasty self."

Blair laughed. "Somehow I don't think mean and nasty is a good description for you."

"No?" Jim asked from the kitchen while he cleaned up from their dinner and stowed leftovers in the fridge. "What am I, Blair?" 

"You're special, man. Very special."

Jim shrugged, although he looked very pleased. "Thanks, Chief. You're not bad yourself."

"No, I'm not," Blair murmured.

Jim smiled at the innuendo. "I'd like to find out."

Blair blushed lightly. "Me, too," he answered softly, knowing Sentinel hearing would pick up every word. He also knew that Jim would hear his heart rate accelerate and his pulse quicken. He swallowed and licked his lips. "Soon, Jim. Please," he whispered, closing his eyes, trying to stifle his sudden arousal. Thoughts of Jim kissing him, touching him, loving him, made the blood rush from his body straight to his groin. "Oh, God," he muttered as his body responded to the images that flashed through his mind. 

"Blair?" 

Blair's eyes flew open and he saw that Jim had knelt in front of him. "Jim, I…" He shifted, his arousal evident. 

"Sandburg- Blair…" Jim's eyes saw his lover's reaction. "Upstairs?" 

Blair nodded, wide-eyed. "Yes, please!" he whispered excitedly. 

They rose together. Blair smiled. "I'll meet you there in five minutes."

"Okay, Chief." 

Jim grabbed a plastic sack from the kitchen counter and went up the stairs, where he nervously undressed. He dumped the contents of the bag onto the bed and set the items on the nightstand: lube, condoms and unscented baby wipes. Wondering if it looked too forward to have the lube and condoms in plain sight, he opened the small drawer and pushed the items in. Then he slipped under the covers. He hoped he pleased Blair, but he was surprised at how anxious he felt. Doing his breathing exercises, Jim tried to calm his racing heart. After a few deep breaths, he focused on Blair. What was he doing? When he listened, he realized that Blair was in the bathroom, washing. The thought that Blair was making sure that he was clean enough for Sentinel senses made Jim react; he was instantly aroused. Only his Guide would take the time to prepare himself for his Sentinel. Jim smiled. God, but he loved the man. 

Blair climbed the stairs slowly. When he reached the top, he stopped and fidgeted nervously. A glance at Jim, and his mouth went dry. 

Jim watched him intently. He licked his lips and started to speak, but nothing came from his open mouth. He clamped his lips closed. 

Blair wrapped the edge of his t-shirt around a finger. "Jim?" he whispered. 

Jim pulled back the covers in invitation. Blair smiled tentatively and quickly slipped under the covers. 

"Chief, I'm naked here. You need to get rid of the sweats. Level playing field, Sandburg."

"Sure, Jim," Blair answered shakily, quickly pulling off the t-shirt. He tucked the sheet under his chin and maneuvered his hands until he pulled off the sweats. 

Jim started laughing. "God, Blair, we act like a couple of blushing virgins."

Blair laughed. "Sorry, man. I feel a bit silly right now. I'm not quite sure how to go about this. This is uncharted territory for me."

"I'm not an expert in the field either, Chief, but we'll work it out together. Besides," Jim leaned over and sniffed Blair's hair, "you smell nice." Without touching, he lightly smelled the side of Blair's face. "Definitely nice." 

"Thanks."

"Cuddle first?"

"Yes!" Blair slid closer to Jim, who wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in for a quick hug. When Blair wiggled a bit and tugged the sheet out from between their bodies, the heat from Blair's body and the feel of his skin against Jim's made him moan softly. "Jim?"

"You feel so good, Chief," Jim said breathlessly. 

"You too, Jim."

"I'm not sure…" 

"Me neither." 

"Hey, I could tell you a joke."

"And that's supposed to help how, Chief?"

"It's supposed to relax you." 

"Is it any good?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

"Just tell me the damned joke, Sandburg, now that you've got my curiosity aroused."

Blair laughed. "Seems like that's not the only thing that's aroused."

"You're asking for it, buddy."

"Promise?"

Jim laughed. "The joke, Sandburg!" 

"Oh, right. Okay. There was this vet and he was working one day when this toad came in for an appointment. 'I have a big problem,' said the toad. 'Can you help me?' 'Maybe,' said the doctor. 'What is it?' The toad pulled down his pants and he showed the vet his cock. Instead of --"

"Chief, just what the hell kind of joke is this? Do frogs wear pants?"

"Geez, Jim, it's a joke. Just shut up and listen."

Jim sighed. "Okay. Hurry up."

Blair chuckled. "Where was I? Okay. Instead of a nice green cock, the toad had this ugly yellow cock. The doctor shook his head. 'I think you need to visit the witch down by the creek. This looks like magic to me, not some disease.' The toad agreed and after the vet pointed out the way, the toad left."

"That was not funny."

"Jim, I'm not finished." 

"You're going to be finished very soon if you don't finish the damned joke!" 

Blair rolled his eyes. "Anyway… The next patient came in to see the doctor. It was a duck, and it pulled off a shoe and showed the doctor a big, blue foot. 'Can you help me?' the duck asked. The vet took one look and shook his head. 'This isn't some disease. This is magic. You need to visit the witch down by the creek. 'Okay,' said the duck. 'Can you tell me how to get to the creek?' 'Sure,' said the doctor, pointing, 'just follow the yellow-cock toad.'"

Jim stared at Blair for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. "That is the stupidest joke I've heard in a long time, Chief."

Blair shrugged. "It could have been worse, Jim." 

"How?" Jim asked through his laughter. 

"I could have told you the one about the hooker, the bowl of-" 

Jim leaned over and pressed his lips against Blair's, kissing him lightly, tasting the warm Blair flavor on his lips, and smelling the clean fragrance of his lover. "Mmmm," Jim murmured, slipping a hand behind Blair's head, kissing him harder. 

Blair responded instantly, wrapping a hand around Jim's neck, returning the kiss passionately. He opened his mouth and groaned deep in his throat when Jim plunged in his tongue and ran the tip over Blair's. They kissed ardently, holding each other close. While Jim explored his mouth, Blair tugged on Jim's shoulders until Jim's body was covering his. He wrapped his legs around Jim's thighs and thrust his hips into Jim's groin. 

Gasping for air, Jim released Blair's mouth. When Blair's erection slid against his, Jim gasped again. "Oh, shit. Blair…" Jim held himself up on his elbows and looked down into his lover's flushed face. He pushed down, grinding their bodies together. Blair's eyes widened even more and his hands clamped on Jim's backside. 

"Jim," Blair blurted out, "oh, Jim." 

Jim lowered his face and fused their mouths together, thrusting slowly. Blair matched each thrust with one of his own and his hands dug into the flesh on Jim's cheeks. Pulling back, Jim panted, "Wait!" as he rolled off Blair. 

"Noooo," Blair wailed. 

"Shhhh," Jim said, petting Blair's hair. "I want to touch you. Please, Chief."

Blair tried to still his pounding heart. "Yes, Jim, please," he said. "Touch me, please."

Jim smiled and quickly kissed his lover's swollen lips. Lying on his side, he raked his eyes over Blair's body. With a light touch, he ran his fingertips down Blair's neck, across his chest, and over each nipple, making Blair whimper when he stopped to lightly scrape a nail across the hardened tips. Trailing his fingers down the hair on Blair's belly to his crotch, Jim's fingers explored the base of the thick erection. With his eyes on Blair's face, Jim's fingers touched the shaft, making his lover shudder. 

"Like that?"

"Yes," Blair whispered. "More!" 

Jim's fingertips outlined the head and rubbed the leaking slit, spreading the fluid around the crown. Bringing his fingers up to his mouth, Jim touched them to his tongue. He considered for a second before he tasted again. "Nice," he murmured, returning to his explorations. 

"Jim, please…" Blair begged, shaking with his efforts to remain still under his Sentinel's examination. 

"Love you, Chief." Jim wrapped a hand lightly around Blair's erection and stroked, watching his face intently. 

Blair closed his eyes and let the feelings wash over him. Jim's hands were warm and soft and loving. He had no idea that the Sentinel could use such a light touch and yet the sensations were so profound, Blair thought he would cry. "Jimmmm," he wailed, feeling his body teetering on the edge. 

Jim's senses knew exactly when Blair was ready. He put his lips to Blair's ear. "Come for me, my love," Jim urged, fisting Blair's cock expertly so that in just a few strokes Blair was spurting hot come across Jim's hand and his own belly. 

Biting his lips, Blair thrust his shaft into Jim's hot fist, coming long and hard. "Oh my God!" he shouted while Jim's fist milked him of every drop. "Jim!" 

"You're so beautiful," Jim said, pressing hot lips to Blair's temple. "I love you so much!" 

"Jim!" Blair cried, "God, Jim! I love you. I'm so…" Blair's eyes filled and he turned his face away. 

With a finger under Blair's chin, Jim turned his face toward him. "It's okay. You're home and safe."

"I know," Blair whispered, burying his head under Jim's chin and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "Hold me." 

Jim smiled and kissed the top of Blair's head. Wrapping his arms around his lover's shoulders, he rolled until Blair was lying fully on top of him. Jim's erection poked Blair in the stomach, making him laugh. He rose to his hands and knees to study Jim's body. 

"Nice equipment," Blair quipped, reaching back to hold the heavy erection in his hand and smiling when Jim trembled at the touch. Blair scooted up a bit and lay his chest against Jim's. He maneuvered Jim's hardness until it was trapped between his thighs. 

Jim groaned at the intense heat surrounding his erection. He pushed into the furnace and pulled Blair close. With his arms around Blair's shoulders, he rolled them over in one swift movement until Blair was under him and he was thrusting into the delicious heat between Blair's legs. 

With a hand on either side of Jim's face, Blair brought Jim's lips to his and kissed him fervently over and over while Jim thrust steadily. When Blair felt Jim's body tense and he heard him suck in his breath, Blair squeezed his thighs as hard as he could and pressed a hand against Jim's ass, holding him tightly. He grinned when he felt the fiery semen erupt from Jim's body and coat his skin. He was surprised that he could actually feel Jim's penis pulsing and spurting its juices, and he was pleased that he could bring his lover such pleasure. 

With a final thrust, Jim bonelessly collapsed on top of Blair for a few minutes. Blair petted the short, soft hair on the back of Jim's head and murmured nonsense words of love and commitment until the Sentinel recovered enough to slip off his partner's body. 

"I'm squashing you," Jim muttered. 

"Nah, I like feeling you on top of me. It makes me feel protected."

"Love you," Jim whispered, kissing Blair's temple. "I can feel where you were hurt," he said, while his lips explored the damaged area. "How do you feel?"

"I feel wonderful," Blair answered. "I love you." 

"Head hurt?"

"Nope."

"That's good."

"I should hope so."

"Wait. You should hope so, what?"

Blair laughed, knowing that the sated Sentinel had lost the train of thought. "That it was good. And so were you." 

"I'm a sticky mess."

"Yeah."

Jim reached a hand to the nightstand. "Wipes?"

"Good idea."

Blair pulled off the top and removed a handful of the cool cloths. First he tenderly cleaned his lover, then he started to clean himself when Jim roused himself. 

"My turn." Jim took the wipes and returned the favor, wiping his lover's body of the remnants of their loving. Dropping the wipes into the trashcan he had conveniently placed beside the bed, he returned to snuggle. 

Jim tugged, pushed and arranged, until he and Blair were wrapped around each other with barely an inch of skin not touching.

Blair allowed himself to be situated. Laughing, he said, "Geez, Jim, I never knew you'd be such a cuddler."

"Is that a problem?"

"Hell no, man. I love to cuddle and you're an A-#1 cuddle-bunny." 

"Sandburg!" 

"Yes, my little bunny?"

Chuckling, Jim rolled his eyes. "Nothing, my little guppy."

"Seems like we're even, then."

"Nope."

"No?"

"I owe you, Chief. Big time."

"You do?"

"Yup."

"Why is that, Jim?"

"Because I'm old and you're young. Because I'm grouchy and you're pleasant. Because I'm lucky you put up with me. Just because."

"Jim, you're not old, man. You're mature. Besides, you have the best body of anybody I know. I'm lucky, too, you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You came and got me. Do you know what the means to me?"

"You know, Chief. I'm better with actions than words. Why don't you show me what it means to you?"

Blair laughed. "Okay, Jim. I can do that, and afterwards, I have another joke to tell you."

Jim groaned. "Guess I'll have to keep you quiet somehow. If I kiss you long enough and hard enough, do you think you'll forget that joke?"

"I don't know. It's possible. Why don't we try it?"

"Okay, my little guppy, you asked for it."

"Bring it on, my little bunny. Bring it on."

The End


End file.
